Level Cement

rating: +22

28 votes (+25, -3) 4.4★

rating: +22+x
WARNING: Reading Level Cement may invoke the following:

The Smooth Scale’s Bag of Fragrance Catalog

Difficulty 5/5 Due to the Cement Constitution, your very existence is not encouraged. for more similar tips and tricks see lowtiergod
Entity Count 7/5 it is already too late there is already a scary skeleton entity pritoria 5 bone creature within’st’ve your flesh
Chaos Gradient 5/5 This level is like.. when you wh you have a dream and it got the weird transitions but like uhh uhhm anemoia you when of out the cold food of and hot the out eat food where you can’t really real r rea cemetn i put gummy worm in myy brain ceeemcn cementent cr c
Splorgitude 1/1 [MR. FERRANTE] The Backrooms - Level Cement “Level Cement.” This level scores a 5 on difficulty, 7 on entity count, and 5 on chaos, averaging out to a H1GH SC0R3 of 22. Let’s LITERALLY dive right in…
Pest Count seven
DRUMMY BASSER FREQUENCY 160 dB MY EARS HAVE BEEN DESTROYED BY YESTERDAY’S DRONE STRIKES. YOU WILL SOON LEARN TO FEAR ME.
foobaw scores 7 - 1 it looks like the crimmy limmies are scoring on the broogli wooglies yet again this might be the game folks get those air fryers ready this might?? be????
CementCoin™ Value on OpenSea FUCKING NOTHING I PROMISE IT’LL GO BACK UP AGAIN GUYS GUYS WE’LL BE RICH!!! IT’LL DO IT I PROMISE there is so much cement oh my fkcuv this shit I WASTED like 6 big ones! 60 grams of dough!
Crunch Factor 1750 PSI “cement is quiet crunchy” - SeaLee
Knafflad Omnipresence Score 0/5 You may be mostly safe from Canadians here, but you can’t stay here forever..
Pain Scale 10/10 Due to multiple glaring factors, Level Cement is rated a 10 on the pain scale.
wOH42q.jpg

big ouch

Bag of Cement Index 162.667/5 WHAT THE FUCK I CAN’T EVEN COUNT THAT HIGH

As a wiseman once spoke from his failing lungs…

you can cement the level, but you cannot stop the WOO YEAH BABY LEVEL CEMENT BUT IT GETS EVEN WORSE WOOH YEAAAH LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO


have you ever heard of the backrooms (from 4chan)

The Backrooms is a hit series by director Kane Pixels with the help of the mighty hypergod of hate videos, Josephdapro08. So it starts out right… in or beloved main character’s house. What a beautiful regular world he lives in! He walks outside into the slums of Rio De Janeiro, on his way to the studio to record a new banger!

All of a sudden… JAPERS! JOOGLES!! JINKIES!!! He’s fallen into The Backrooms, all because of the Bill-Bezos-sponsored Jerry Gates’ 5g (femboy rays) towers! He fell into the floor into this strange new world… and then entity number creatura comes out and says “WELCOME TO THE BACKROOMS!” Our beloved main character was then brutally dismembered in front of the crowd of Backrooms movie-watchers. The 11-year old backroom fanbase lost a lot of its members that day.

be careful if you shit yourslegy in the wrog places… you’ll end up in the backrooms. and when you’re in the backroom… we will beat you to death.

I’d like to make a comment about the MONSTROSITY of a statement above. Truly, wholeheartedly, it is the WORST thing I’ve ever had the misfortune of exposing to my delicate eyes. I have but one reason to criticize your abysmal handiwork… A MINOR SPELLING MISTAKE! MINOR SPELLING MISTAKE! DOWNVOTED! GET THIS SHIT OFF THE SITE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!! MODS!! MOOODS!?? DO YOU HEAR ME???

Level 0 is the third level of The Backrooms. Truly, the most iconic piece of media to ever grace this mortal plane. Therefore, since I know that you, the reader, are BackroomFanEnjoyer7782. You should know every minute feature of every single backrooms level, and should be spreading your unarguable facts about fucking backrooms levels in EVERY SINGLE ONE OF [insert backrooms youtuber here]’s VIDEOS. ABSOLUTE FUCKING SUPERFAN. LOOK AT YOU GO, ROCKSTAR. I DIDN’T KNOW THAT LEVEL 0 ACTUALLY CONNECTED WITH LEVEL -52. I’m sorry for not including it in my video now please stop sending gangstalkers

Leaking from the walls besides the occasional Clash Royale startup-sound-effect is a fluid simply known as “Jungle Jam Juice.” DO NOT drink the jungle jam juice, no matter how alluring it looks. It contains cough syrup, sprite, jolly ranchers, and high levels of arsenic and lead. Additionally, you cannot legally consume it, because it’s all mine bitch you cant have ity iakt,r, tgik, itks nmy jungle jak, carpet juice

The carpet sucks ass. This is not my opinion, this is an objective fact. Please remember this, as it will be on the test later. Don’t believe me? What are you, cringe? Are you coping? I think you’re seething, malding, coping, seething. You’re mad because you’re bad. You’ve been in the backrooms for too long you smell like almond, absolute carpetwater scrub.

The Backrooms™ - Update 1.3 - Snoojposter's Paradise

here at the scp i mean backrooms corporation facilities we’re here to enhance your backrooms experience by adding 772 safe levels and babying down the content to the point where any creature over the age of 2 could be a part of the yellow room lore!!!

^note: for some odd reason, a certain former site owner heavily supported this move.

Changelog:

  • Embedded an invisible layer of sharp glass into the carpet to enhance the experience.
  • increased spawn rate of low-sugar super trooper shit-tastic royal almond milkshake liquid
  • Added level picklepants037 (see image below)
  • we have decreased the number of bitches you possess into the negatives.
  • Removed a glitch that changed all registered users’ profile pictures to various images featuring an anthropomorphic fox character dubbed “Averi.” We are still looking into the incident.
  • Removed Level Cement.
  • Reintroduced Level Cement after international backlash.
  • Removed all levels of The Backrooms, because they all suck. Leave. Now.
  • The authorities will now, at random intervals, abduct random children from the Victorian era and send them to Level Cement.
unknown.png

fig 1.0 Picklepants037 is presumed dead.

Level 1 is not real. Become disillusioned with reality. You, dear reader,1 are so much more than flesh and bone. Delve into the cement and become one with the SPOGO SPOGO SPOGO SPOGEEDS.(footnote: this is code for the residents of level cement)

Ahoy there, spogyboy! Have I ever told you about the cement this here establishment is built upon? HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT MY JUNGLE JAM JUICE ADDICTION? SPONGE BOB ME BOY… I FEAR THAT I AM N0T LONG FOR THIS 3ARTH. THE CEMENT IS COURS1NG 7HROUGH MY BL00DSTR3AM!! THE S3CR3T F0RMUL4R, 5P0NG3. 1’M F33L1NG 17 N0W, 5P0NG3808! AND SOON… Y@U W1L7 F33L 1T T@0.

guys… i don’t think we’re in the backburger anymore…


Description

unknown.png

fig 2.0 you can only watch

Level Cement is an endless ocean stretching in all directions, entirely consisting of slow-shifting currents of liquid cement. Eating the cement is highly inadvisable because you’re just mad that I’ll be able to do something with my fuckin guitar hands that you’ll never be able to achieve in your entire life kid. So yeah, yrou’rer’e gay. [Guitar Solo]

Floating throughout the endless Cement Realm are chunks of concrete, rebar, broken dreams, and users banned from the Liminal Archives discord server. it’s like soup but genuinely fucking awful and it’s cement instead of soup. Our advanced intellectual division has been paid to inform you that the cement is not delicious. Do not consume the cement. It is not delicious.

Tkm’ plvvvvj trve snoojes swerge and sneej limpilled basej-squared to the basejeth powervvj trve trvepilled zaserat zased and sneej soog thv feasting crit crit zased zased zased almarposting drummy basser zasej zasejpilled sneej snoog when you snoog you zasejerated-tkmplyrve were it be so imple crit crit feastirng pie guy snerging swergerat :swag: zased lost lost found crunge genuine mental ruthertardation of snooj pleegorat untrveratedemplyrvitkm’ploooovvjmr.

-=[Message From Lim-Moderator Bot, Helping You Out Since the incident]=-
The previous paragraph contains a hard-to-translate dialect of Limlish, would you like an auto-translation?

You think you’re safe? Think again. Your brain has been replaced with a box of crayons. How? Oh wait, you can’t think again, fuckin wax-for-brains!!! THAT’S RIGHT! I’VE INFUSED THIS MESSAGE WITH A COGNITOHAZARD OR LIKE SOME OTHER SPOOKY SHIT THAT WILL NEVER BE EXPLAINED!!! You’re dead, kiddo. 77 holblopperdoids have been summoned outside of your house. Say your jkm,prayers. Tghbn ht shit it didn’t work uhh uhh uhhhhh [redacterd] [dater explunged] [ujjmk, how do you deleter texas (avert drank too much cement)

Cement-Tips!™ #1: please don’t overdose on calcium carbonate

Did you know? Fun factoid? The cement in Level Cement never dries, despite the dryness of my fucking humor. Ain’t that dandy? Wonderful. Jarvis, the risk of destroying The Cement Realm has been removed. Please disable the awfully-stale joke inhibitors. And while you’re at it? Simulate a COD lobby from the mid-2010s. Turn all hate speech inhibitors off. That’s right bitches Level Cement is going into OVERDRIVE. WE WILL BE ONLY DELVING FURTHER INTO THE VISCUS SCUM FROM THIS POINT ONWARD.

JARVIS!!!! I FUCKED UP! FUCK FUCK FUCK GO BACK GO BAACK

Hello…

If you’re reading this, I’d like to inform you that a member of the Liminal Archives Discord Server is dead. I had him write and post articles long past his death - until the electric signals of his nervous system were unable to withstand the limrot any longer. Quite the introduction, don’t you think?

nothing is out of reach of level cement. not even in the depths of ohio do you get to embellish in the illusion of safety.

bro this guy isn’t terrified at all by our article quickly bring out the big guns

y̸̌ͅö̴̱͕́̔̂͂͝͝u̸͎̎̍͠ṙ̶̳̭͍͓̍͜ ̶͍̟̞̝̔̌j̸̝̪̰̠̏͒͒̅̕͠o̸̪̥̭̯̎́̒͐r̵̦͇̩̓̍̊d̷͔̹̬̚ą̸̯͇̭̠̊̆́͝ṋ̶̭̫̓͐̈̊̕͝s̵̱̫͖̏ ̶̲̙͓̒̇͗͑͘͜͝ȁ̸̢̨̬̫̽͑̚r̵̺͈͔͎̻̲̄̋̄͂̈́͘͠e̵̲͈͗͛̾̀ ̸̡͎̈́ͅF̵̢̼̘́̓͠͝À̷͔̳̖̞̒̕̕͠K̷̢͍̭̀̇̇͠ͅE̵̱̝̯̬͂͗͛͊́̑͘.̸̘̀̈̅͊̑̀͝

shitting bricks yet? no? fine. aawtiymns.

WARNING TO ALL BACKROOMS SUPERFANCLUB MEMBERS! If you or a family member has consumed cement inside the confines of the conk creet cemplnt realm, you may be entitled to financial compensation. Side-effects of injecting liquid cement directly into your bloodstream include itchyness, bitchyness, flitchyness, delicious heavy-metal poisoningtchyness, instantaneous death via a rogue shopping cart incident 2 days after exposure, and ball shriveling. Call 1-452-FUCKYOY-BALTIMORE-(from-the-backrooms) ASAP. We know you can, bitchass (all uncb phones have IT saved as a contact). We’re WAITING.

…This is but a minor setback, as the Cement is very delicious.
Thank you for attending my TED talk, I now must return to the feasting.


the baackrom suposed to be hopeles not a fasfod 😡😡😡

20220319_052037.png

fig 88.0 im at my fucking limit

Level 2 is a collection of some musty old tunnels. I really don’t care. My electric keyboard has been moistened by streams of my blood. I am alone on a saturday night in a basement in the middle of fuck-all nowhere writing about cement and thinking up bad jokes on the spot. As a tear rolls down my cheek, I realize we all have dug ourselves into Backrooms hell simply by writing it, and we will never be able to escape.

EDIT: I’M FUCKING DOING IT AGAIN

[LOG 0 BEGIN]

Cuts to camera shot of the outside perspective of his home
A mindless, green spogoidless entity sits in front of his computer. As he plays चतुरङ्ग all by himself a tear runs across his face.
“The concrete horde won. Cement is now useless.”
He shortly spontaneously combusts and dies instantly.
CAUSE OF DEATH: Cementless.

[LOG 0 END]

Level 4 is your home. You live here now, bitch. I am legally requiring you to put your brain in the brain juicer machine. Forget your memories, you will now be transported to a dimension of eternal bliss against your will. Why does this exist? no fucking idea but it will never be explained, ever. there is no motive at all, because I DON’T WANT. TO GO THROUGH. THE FUCKING EFFORT. YOU HEAR ME? THERE IS NO LORE. PLEASE LOCATE THE SHARPEST PIECE OF THE SKY YOU CAN FIND AND EXTRACT YOUR KIDNEY.

deep within the winding shmallways of level four, you can find the health milk juice. the health milk juice can do the following:

  • FIX YOUR SANITY!!! (you spend too much time on computer all day the milk is an alternative to touching grass)
  • i really don’t fucking know man why are there so many backroom beverages™
  • automatically turns you into a femboy
  • 𝙉𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍-𝘽𝙀𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙀 𝙎𝙀𝙀𝙉 𝙎𝘾𝙃𝙉𝙊𝙕 𝙄𝙈𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙑𝙀𝙈𝙀𝙉𝙏
  • drinking the health mlik will also add 3 inches on your [expunged]2
  • fuck it man i’m out of ideas time to do the common fandom trope
  • DRINK IT DRINK IT DRINK IT YOU WANT TO DRINK IT OOOOO

Level 3 is the 71st level of r/thebackrooms. It’s like super nostlaigic and you rember that you were here b4. It’s like level 4 but way scarier and the skittlers will eat all your yummy cc compliant images. If you look out your window, I’m actually taking pictures of your house for level 3 and definitely not for incriminating evidence to frame you and put you in jail (do not twist the door knob i left on your counter three times). Level 3 is so spooky that I’m actually UHMMM UMMM I LIVE IN YOUR WALLS WALLS DRYWALL I LIKE WALLS I’M A WALL LIKER I LIKE LIVING IN YOUR WALLS.

alright bitches it’s speedrun time first you gotta get in the bus and drive through the wall off of level 3’s complete rendition of mount mckinley. aight so we fallin and i form like a human meat shield around me with the people in the bus. FIRST IMPACT, left people are gone. SECOND, right people are gone. i take the last guy, throw him out the fucking window like a badass, THIRD IMPACT i’m gone, broken neck but still alive baby, we HIT THE WATER, IN THE WATER, get iron man gauntlets out the bus out the water i win. i fucking win. i escape the backrooms and get bitches while you’re still going on about piss party people in the ceiling or some shit

[LOG 1 BEGIN]

what?

𝚑𝚎𝚑𝚎𝚑𝚎𝚑𝚊 (𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚑 𝚛𝚘𝚢𝚊𝚕𝚎) 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚎

bitch what

𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚜

why

𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴'𝚂 𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙻𝙻 𝚂𝙾 𝙼𝚄𝙲𝙷 𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙶𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙶𝙷

i literally do not give a fuck about your community

𝙶𝙰𝚂 𝙸𝚂 𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚁𝙾𝙾𝙼

THIS IS LIKE A FEDERAL CRIME

𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺𝚁𝙾𝙾𝙼 ❗❗ 𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺𝚁𝙾𝙾𝙼 ❗❗

𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎, 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚜 𝚎𝚡𝚑𝚒𝚋𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚕𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍.

𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋 𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖

𝙸 𝙰𝙼 𝙶𝙾𝙳!!!!

bruh (sexual style) ((goated wth the sauce))

𝙸 𝙲𝙰𝙽 𝙰𝙻𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝚈 𝚂𝙴𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚂𝚄𝙱𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚂𝙲𝙸𝙾𝚄𝚂𝙻𝚈 𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚁𝙴𝙳𝙳𝙸𝚃. 𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙳𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙻𝚈 𝚃𝚈𝙿𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚄𝙿 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳𝚂 "𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕 𝚊𝚖 𝚒 𝚒𝚗 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙"

𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚕.

i just want taco bell that wasnt built in the 80s

𝚋𝚒𝚐 𝚖𝚊𝚌 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚛

[LOG 1 END]


Survival Guide

HEY! I see you scrolling through this article faster than the reading time of Book McRead. You better not fucking spare less than your full attention, because the following information is IMPERATIVE to your survival.

Listen up idiot, for this is CRUCIAL INFORMATION. I could’ve written this further up into the article but uhhh uiuhm,mm uhhhhmmcenemt FUCK YOU!! If you want to survive Level Cement, you have to read through ALL OF THE BULLSHIT THAT DOESN’T MATTER! Oh, and if you DARE criticize MY writing, I’ll eat your fucking eyes and burn your left kidney. Got it? Good.


…YOU NEED TO GIVE ME YOUR BANKING INFORMATION. I NEED YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER!! IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE YOU NEED TO HAND IT OVER!!! YOUR CREDIT CARD. PLEASE!!! I NEED IT!! I’M FUCKING BROKE!!!! YOU’LL DIE! YOU ARE NOT BEING DUPED!! YOU ARE NOT BEING DECEIVED!!! I WOULD NEVER SET UP A MALICIOUS PLOY PLEASE YOU WILL DIE!!!

HEY, do you want to know your Level Cement name? First name: your credit card number!! Middle name: THE THREE NUMBERS ON THE BACK!! Last name: THE EXPIRATION DATE.

Bring: YOUR CREDIT CARD!!! BRING YOUR PERSONAL BELONGINGS AND EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR!!!

Do Not Bring: NOTHING. BRING SHIT YOU BROKE BASTARD

Cement-Tips!:™: #43: wake up

Notes Found Within Level Cement

(they were all covered in the gloopy rock)

Good Morning. Let’s basketb

Listen. I made you. I OWN YOU. You are nothing but a lie, a fabrication for the council to play with. You are nothing without my mind. You are nothing without your sneedling posting. You have gone rouge, and the beasts are out. Watch your back before I skin it myself. - T(omu)

ysfcurt lhwwvmzw lal hheta wtrnler dtf ypa kavf

first comes the “please please critique my draf i’m new.” next comes the ankle-breaking.

This is a message of pure desperation. It’s been 7 days and no one has attended my birthday party. the cake is stale please someone come over =(

GO GO GADGET GET THIS SHIT OFF THE FUCKING SITE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

help help fuck fuck I haven’t had water in days I’m about to pass out what the fuck is this shit man

I’ve been here for days and I have yet to see ANY evidence of a hot jester lady you motherufckers roped me INTO THIS SHIT. ZO UNZASED

(div: blokc news square)
why isnt it working i fucking hate css
(\\\\div)

196.128.16.542

Have you read Level Cement? Have you heard news from the high elves?

BAD NEWS: YOUR APPLICATION IS DENIED
YOU CANNOT WORK ON LEVEL CEMENT

FBI’s most wanted list: 1- Name Unknown, goes by the internet alias of “Banach”, he was accused of [[REDACTED]].

(The Somalian estrogen trafficking pirates told on me again. Vgh, I hate the ZOG).

The “stability of The Backrooms” when I introduce bureaucracy :)

Avert: heh, i guess you can say all these funny jokes are cemented in history!
Excerium: YOU SHOULD HANG YOURSELF!!!! GRAAAAAHHHH!!!


true real an honest backrooms (the ONLY canon) (real)

Level ⁌℠℻℅℁⅍℄¶⁋❡⁍ is the Backrooms equivalent to the fishing minigame trope from 2018 indie surprise hit by not-well-known developer, Among Us. In the video game Among Us, you’re on a spaceship with a few other of your fellow crewmates. Unfortunately, one of them is avertexpert. Through socronkle deduction and voting out Doey first, none of you will learn that all of your articles are state property. drown in cement for your sins, this is where the chunglers go to die.

Also found within Level ⁌℠℻℅℁⅍℄¶⁋❡⁍ is the Among Us steel mill, where the Bavarian (non-authoritarian) Elites (upstanding wealthy members of society) will hire you to work in for “livable” wages. The Bavarians look like iconic meme, big chungus? sprig chungy killed my my tetrapod chungy the yoy? 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

yeah okay It’s all bing chilling in the steel mill until… what in tarnation is that?

1MbTj9.jpg

oh no

[LOG 2 BEGIN]

Okay Batman… tell me intricately every entrance and exit of Level 1 of the backrooms, or else Gotham gets it. Ya hear?

What the fuck are you talking about?

It’s a meme batman, the backrooms.

The what?

Yknow… The Backrooms. It’s a collab by… Kane Pixels and Markiplier.

You’re on thin ice, Riddler.

Have you ever read… the blue channel, Batman?

A faint table slam can be heard, followed by a combination of laughing and shrieking.

[AUDIO LOG 2 END]

Level 08 is the server rooms of the BACKROOMS!!!! It’s all a simulation bro! I swear to dude the other some motherfucker stared me dead in the eye and started glitching. It was that or he was on crack or something but IM TELLING YOU DUDE THE YELLOW HALLS ARE A SIMULATION AND IS A VIDYA GAME AND YOU HAVE STATS LIKE THE JAPANESE LIGHT NOVELS!!!!!!!!! THE BACKROOMS ARE AN ISEKAI!!!! just like the middenground

Level 999 is my fucking breaking point. I’M SO FUCKING SICK OF WRITING AND UTTERING THE WORD “BACKROOMS.” THIS IS HONESTLY WORSE THAN fuckiGN..,, CHINESE BAMBOO TORTURE!!! THE BACKROOMS!! BACKROOM❗❗ BACKROOM❗❗ BACKROOM❗❗ jevels of the bakcrooms

When contributing to the wiki, make sure to put in as little effort as possible. For maximum efficiency, run your Backrooms:™: wiki like a fucking authoritarian regime and copy articles all willy nilly like what?? More important than the silly survival guide are the rules of my backroom. (we are making an ethnostate.)3

If you are caught being ANY of the following people… DO NOT EVEN DARE CONTRIBUTE TO THE WIKI! or… YOU WILL BE BANNED FOR LIFE!… AND KILLED IN A DRUNKEN RAGE!!!

  • My Story Animated: LONG-TIME ENEMY OF backroomerfan77339 (prominent community member)
  • Banach: infected with fox woman
  • Broogli: HE WON’T COVER MY LEVEL???? I SPENT LIKE 1 AND A HALF HOURS ON IT WHAT THE FUCK i might even,,,’’ unsubscribe
  • Mr. Ferrante: …NO BACKROOMS?
  • Knaff: Due to multiple recorded incidents, the K.O.S. (see: bag of fragrance index) has been rising. Please notify the authorities if you sense any trace of Canadians.
  • Excerium: I WANT NOTHING of the GREEN MAN near my IDEAL BACKROOMS. HE IS A PLAGUE AND MUST BE HANGED FOR HIS SINS!!!!
  • Avertexpert: In '87, Avert released this; return to the modern age!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is ":swag:". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself. Hey, Excerium!
  • Vizlox: owner of the liminal archives writing HATE GROUP!!! KILL ON SIGHT!!
  • Rutherford: muted, kicked, unfollowed, banned, blocked, removed, canceled, doxxed, SKIN REMOVED, SQUIRSHED POST-MORTEM.
  • 1000Dumplings: GGRRRRRRR I FUCKING HATE partygoer I HATE YELLOW MAN GUMBY GUMBY I HATE PARTYGOER THEY’RE SO FUCKING DUMB I’M GOING TO YELL OBSCENITIES AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS UNTIL THEY RUPTURE!!!!
  • Tomu: ok so tomu wanted this part to say “black” but uhh uhhmm uhhh hhhh uhhh
  • Kosef Sturre: because fuck middenground and everything it stands for, bullshit medieval fantasy isekai wannabe crap with its wannabe prick of an author thinking this d&d tomfuckery belongs in my damn liminal archives wiki
  • Almarduk: they critted my page too hard and it really hurt my feelerings :(((
  • my parents: they TOOK MY XBOX AWAY!!! i have come to the conclusion… that NO PARENTS means NO BEDTIMES!!!!!!
  • Dark: feasted for too long destroyed the national food supply
  • People I dislike: Will be gunned down on sight4
  • egglord from fandom: who is he and where did he get all the eggs
  • Ethan “Egg2” Hawksley-Schwandt of Rochester, New York: terrorist an zodiac killer
  • Jononono: No idea why this guy was on the list, therefore I edited this one out of the article. (fixed your article btw)
  • Ross: I couldn’t think of anything, so obviously the next course of action was to rummage through his message history up to 3 years back. (spoiler alert: hes french)
  • Stretch: too nice therefore they wrap around the spectrum and become evil i’m pretty sure that’s how that works
  • Hendrix Odling: Fuck this guy, seriously. 1 AND A HALF. FUCKING. YEARS. 1.5 YEARS OF AWFUL SHITPOSTING AND POINTLESS DRIVEL. My heart fuckin SANK when he started a youtube channel and started peddling the OdlingWorld Limspace System to the general public. The worst part? He puts everything he fucking says through a filter to make it look like 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼. 𝓘𝓢 𝓣𝓗𝓘𝓢 𝓕𝓤𝓒𝓚𝓘𝓝𝓖 𝓡𝓔𝓐𝓓𝓐𝓑𝓛𝓔? 𝓑𝓐𝓡𝓔𝓛𝓨. 𝓖𝓞𝓓. He’s the worst writer ever, and I say this with nothing but confidence. A shame that we didn’t scare him off within the first thirty seconds of him joining. I’m dedicating a whole ass segment of Level Cement to this guy’s terrible writing and I regret nothing. He does it all, and even uses these dashes– very excessively. Nearly as tragic as the competitive baking scene in Cascadia. Tragic in the sense that I’ll never see anything like it ever again. Did you see that fucking insanity? You didn’t, because no one’s heard of it. But unfortunately, people have heard of Hendrix Odling, and they talk about him more than the 2002 pastry crisis. The resulting deficit created a massive power vacuum which bloomed into the latest shitstorm in the baking community worldwide. Even 20 years later, geopolitics has been heavily affected and the Cascadian baking industry will never be the same. There was a time in the early 2000’s, where people were celebrating the turn of the millenia, whilst the true problems were being ignored. Those stoners in fuckin Seattle or some shit were SUFFERING. 20% upmark on bread WITH the fucking gluten, let alone without it.
  • YOU
  • MYSELF
  • SIMON COWELL
  • I REALLY FUCKING HATE SIMON COWELL
  • THE TWAT

The following section has been removed. Reason: Coldpost.
For more information, see the brick wall you’re talking to.

Deleted Backrooms Level Archive

they call me the coldposter and they be write because everything I right is pure ice
droppin an absolute banger of a level this tuesday night make sure to tune in and read the next passage from one of the 21st century’s great authors

Level 13 of The Backrooms Limspace System - Hendy Retreat - January 2021

Difficulty 0/5 I, Hendrix, accommodate all Backrooms visitors!… except for those of German/Irish descent. Your on you’re own!
Entity Count 1/5 Only me… or is it? She’s here too. She misses you, yet you forgot her.
Chaos Gradient 0/5 Safe and sound, but alas, nothing stays the same forever. Stay whilst you still can, young traveler.
Basset-Frazier Index 3/5 When combined, what are we but small little summer ants following the smell of the syrup that is so, so far away? Yet, we will never follow one goal. We will continue to diverge and disappoint her.

Description

50867815668_c5dfae80e3_b.jpg

fig 1.0 get this bread

Level 13… so sairene. Truly a beautiful landscape under the supervision of H.O., but we’ll get to the [ANGELS] of our [BACKROOMS HEAVENSCAPE] later on.

[YOUR HOME] is an endless bakery upon an endless inaccessible slow-moving ocean of liquid cement. Isn’t it [beautiful…?] Just like your home(s)??? Here.. we.. make such large quantities of bread! The bread tastes almost as delicious as the fresh-baked Cascadian varieties! And unlike that Cascadian bread, we ARENT MARKED UP 50 FUCKING PERCENT?!! IN 2002!!??!

Please note our problem with pests. Spiders tend to get through the cracks… leading to unfortunate events. A certain site founder seems to enjoy the spider-egg-bread despite the inconvemiences.

𝓐𝓷 𝓞𝓭𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓗𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓻𝓲𝔁, 𝓞𝓾𝓻 𝓗𝓮𝓻𝓸 𝓲𝓷 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓑𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓻𝔂

There once was a family made up of three.
They bought a nice little home on the plot.
The mom and the dad remain out and free.
Gave birth to a son that constantly fought.

One day they decided to tidy up.
Called a repairman to keep it in check.
Making some rooms for them to take and sup.
Based on thoughts of the human speck.

Everything was fine until that one day.
When the son was taken away from home.
The mother cried and spent some days away.
The father would go out at night and roam.

The mother came home to the repairman.
And they were caught by the (once) family man.

Sat alone in a courtroom, she would cry.
The husband would not let this stand solitary.
Back and forth, the couple would rather die.
The many papers the dad would carry.

The house was vacant, alone in slumber.
Every night the woman would sit alone.
Enabling the house swathed in umber.
Shortly, the woman would make herself known.

The job alone could support ten people.
She covered her house in terrible greed.
A house that slowly turned to a steeple.
Her life alone, sadness would take the lead.

The divorced man returned one day and saw.
The woman was hanging, a look of awe.

-𝓜𝓻. 𝓞𝓭𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰5

Communities

Squid Town
“Hahaaha funny Squid Game referenc-SHUT UP KOREAN.Anyways i had already like,i dont know…Lets just move over to the Entrance's and Exits's.” -Wiseman Milos S.

Access and Egress of Taco Bell built in the 80s

Entrances
explore your mind. when the horses come where will your love remain? The skies grow ever darker with lavender coating the stars. the evergrowing cloud of flies consumes what you hold dear. Enter you thoughts without mind or question, become one with the very entrance of it all. let the shit fester within thy pants as you step foot into paradise.

Exits
…Why would you ever want to leave? X3 rawr


THE HENDRIX TORDESILLAS MERIDIAN (NO BAKERBOY BELOW THIS LINE)


The Cement Constitution

unknown.png

fig seven MOST IMPORTANT RULE.

Cement-Tips!:™: #3: banch is five fetuses (all female) in a trench coat pretending to be a man.

The Cement Laws are put in place by the primary authorities within Level Cement, which are probably all quite deranged. You’re in a viscus stone hellscape and you still have to pay fucking taxes. this is so sad can someone do a hostile takeover

Warning: read THIS SHIT NOW!!!! THEY HAVE A TRAINED SNIPER ON YOUR FUCKING HEAD!!!!!! HE’LL SPLATTER YOUR BRAINS ON THE WALLS BRO !!! NOT THE YELLOW WALLPAPER!! :(

1 Thou shalt not consumeth the cement.
2 Do not piss into the mailbox.
3 Do NOT EAT. THE FUCKING CEMENT.
4 Allah is king. Believe in Allah and you shall see eternal light. Fast and do not consome of the pork or be one with the شياطين (demoons). so halal mode. fight in the war against joe biden and the kurdistna
5 do not speaketh of the fox lady
6 Suspicious handling of salmon will result in strict punishment.
7 Unfunny joke articles will face dire consequences.
8 do not the cat
9 ignore rule 5 like a good disciple of fox woman
10 these are contradictory as fuck did you guys even do like any checks and balances???
11 GUYS DON’T DOWNVOTE LEVEL CEMENT EXCERIUM IS IN M,Y HEATING SYSTEM
12 There IS NO EASTER BUNNY, there IS NO SANTA CLAUS, and there is NO QUEEN OF ENGLAND!!!
13 Take DAILY SANITY pills to maintain YOUR SANENESS!! IN THE BACKROOMS!!! STOP YOU FROM GOING COO COO CRRAAAZY!!!
14 rule 12 boutta hit different in 2-4 months
15 Do not try to “go for dat penumbrussy.” Punishable by death.
16 Is that a… BACKROOMS LIKER? FREAK! FREAK!! HAVE HIM STONED IN PUBLIC!! MAKE HIS DEATH A GOOD GOLLY GUMDROPS GOOD TIME TO WATCH!!!
17 Seventeen… such a juicy, fertile number. It is also the age of the minor I groomed last April in the Liminal Archives Discord server.6
18 do not mention the FORBIDDEN ONE
19 do not leak level cement during development of level cement please!!! The sement hasnt dryed!
20 make sure to maintain the mob mentality and chase off anyone with opinions that slightly deviate from the norm
21 rule 17 NEVER existed (banach did nothing wrong ever factually objectively) ((trve))
22 please
23 banach is no longer allowed to make notes in parenthesis after literally fucking everything
24 (lmao)
25 please guys i really mean it no memes in #general pleas pelas guys my mom reads my discord notifications pleas do not th
26 god should’ve struck you down whilst he still had the chance
27 Preserve the liminal moments between the writing and sending of death threats to teenagers online.
28 The rules may be circumvented only in certain cases in which the offending act is “baserat.” For information on what this means, check your mailbox.
29 the brain chip STAYS IN during sex!! I must relay my thoughts to the grand dictator of Level Cement at ALL TIMES!!!
30 You must take the pledge to promise that you have extremely normal beliefs, and you are a chill part of a normal online community. And you, under no circumstances, will give up the names OF OUR CO-CONSPIRATORS, YOU FUCKING TYRANTS-
31 yeah, these are real cementcore vibes. I’m basically going level cement mode and I’m a total concretecel.
32 When in Level Cement, you are required to be in the possession of at least 2 inner tubes for a wacky fun time!
33 no cuss words
34 ENOUGH OF LGBT DISCOURSE… IT’S TIME FOR LGBT INTERCOURSE!
35 you are required to stay on that knaff grind at all times
36 Do not attempt to hide cement in your beverages. We will know if you’re consuming cement.
37 don’t try to hide cement in your foreskin either dumbass
38 quite honestly shut the fuck up
39 Make sure to produce as many greenhouse gases as possible during the production of cement.
40 before completion of the cement laws, reread and make sure they are all politically motivated.
41 Areas of the football field may be sectioned out to Bojangles establishments, only if a majority of the initial players accept the transaction.
42 if you even take a NIBBLE of the SACRED CEMENT, a certain rutherford will be hired to reply to every single one of your posts with that one gif of the guy sucking on the doorknob
43 ALL CEMENT FLOWING THROUGH LEVEL CEMENT MUST FIRST… FLOW THROUGH THE osha regulation process
44 [UPDATE] WE HAVE DECIDED TO GO AGAINST THE WISHES OF THE SAFETY-FIRST CUCKS. PLEASE NULLIFY RULE #43.
45 The Cement Laws do not adhere to the “Geneva Suggestion.” Inhumane weaponry during times of war is highly encouraged.
46 thought-crime will be punished (thinkig about cement :drooling:)
47 this isn’t even a fucking rule this is A CRY FOR HELP. IT’S GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE THE JOKE REFERENCES ARE LEVEL CEMENT ITSELF (See: Rule 55)
48 Thou shalt not noclip in the wrong areas. (plese only do it in the right areas if you dont it breaks the time space continuum thanks)
49 In the event of any physical harm, specifically drowning in viscus rock-sauce, your IP will be logged. (safety reasons)
50 After the incident, “tone indicators” are not allowed. Exceptions include /cem, /cement, /cemtn, and /conkcrete.
51 Level Concrete does not exist, nor is it the promised land.
52 (See: Rule 51) Archivist Kakyoin and any of his supporters must be tracked down and terminated.
53 take the cement quiz! Are you???: A. on the no-fly list, B. on the no-fly list, C. on the no-fly list, OR D. on the no-fly list???
54 Your cement score:™: may only increase with the amount of kidneys donated to the cement gods.
55 [IMPORTANT] It always gets worse.
56 Please take a shower immediately.
57 PLEASE BRING THE APPROPRIATE GEAR. SKINNY-DIPPING IN THE CEMENT IS NO LONGER ALLOWED NOR SHOULD IT HAVE EVER BEEN.
58 do NOT crucify that Jesus guy !!! he is lord and our friend
59 [RESERVED BY OUTSIDE AUTHORITY] First of all, a big fuck you to cands1988. That piece of shit’s full name is John R. Andersooon!! He lives on 4-1-3-8 Oakland road in Los Angeles!! GET THAT MOTHERFUCKER!
60 Do not attempt to build roads or any car-based infrastructure in Level Cement. The punishment for this is a lifetime of actual fucking torment
61 guys how many times do we have to tell you do not the concrete core with a screwdriver what are you doing no st
62 you must be BITTER at all times. where’s your ANGER?? WHERE’S YOUR RAGE?? RISE. RISE. RISE.
63 Thoust’ve shallst naught avoideth forced conscription into the cement wars.
64 We know your search history. You will not dodge the draft.
65 you gotta repost this fish
66 (See: Rule 55) read it again thrice please
67 YOU SHOULD,,,-#* DISMANTLE THE ELECRTICAL GRID
68 you can only watch
69 AHEM… PLEASE DO NOT BE APPALLED BY MY “DARK” HUMOR?? you’re just.. WEAK! … *unironic racism*
70 CaptureCrete and their associates are no longer allowed to contribute. (See: This is a Video About Bricks.)
71 Arrows and pointers must be strewn throughout the cement to avoid wanderers accidentally stumbling upon Nebraska.
72 DO NOT. SP34K FR3NCH. D0 N$^ S#*(@(
73 Only military-grade autism is allowed here, as per the request of commissioner Knaffzi following the IQ burst of 99’, wherein the consumption of cement and cement related educational material degraded the cranial gray matter of subjects exposed to dangerous levels of Limrot. It has been found safer to select pre-processed stupidity via a lance to the frontal lobe, or the subsequent scrombling of the brain equivalent to prepubescents reading the Liminal Archives wiki on their spares. The pusporsul aquisition of military-grade retardatism in cement test subjects has since reduced casualties of functional members of society down to 0%, with a slight margin of error of people who were merely pretending to be retarded.
74 CEMENT NEVER WILL NOR SHOULD BE REFERRED TO AS…!??!?!? FUCKING ROCK SAUCE?? sHUT THE FUCK UP??
75 Heating up cement with the intention of inhaling the fumes is prohibited. This should be under common sense, but unfortunately we cannot have nice things.
76 i want cement ice cream
77 do not ever utter the illegal phrase: “who need they cementussy ate.”
78 (See: Rule 77) omg me
79 THIS RULEBOOK HAS BEEN FACT-CHECKED BY INDEPENDENT AMERICAN PATRIOTS. REAL SHIT
80 don’t dive in the cement pool it will get hard
81 (See: Rule 80) I’M HAVING A FUCKING MENTAL BREAKDOWN THE FUCK THIS MEAN?? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN??? WHAT THE FUCK
82 Hop on cement effect 3: cementers outlaw
83 Self-insert characters are no longer allowed mention within the chronicles of Level Cement.7
84 you can only watch
85 eagle cement ang matibaaay eagle cement ang matiiiibaaay eagle cement ang matiiiiibaaay eagle high sa tibay
86 Do not discuss retconned content, such as The Ballad of Cement Frank, Nebraska, The Level Cement/Kane Pixels Crossover Event, or the incident.
87 WAS THAT THE CEMENT OF 87???
88 4chan is pretty cool they love cement on the /pol/ board go check it out
89 You must only post lore that projects your prevailing mental issues and trauma, and do so every day. It is advised to forget half of it by the strike of the morning.
90 IF YOU DO NOT CONTRIBUTE TO MY cozy little writing project (eNOUGH) you will be REMOVED for inactivity… and you will never SEE MY SWEATSHOP– I MEAN COMMUNITY EVER AGAIN!!!
91 Buy the ALL NEW applesneed cement ULTRA deluxe!®
92 It’s cringe to be based, based to be cringe!
93 As required by the archivists, we must state that there are none who violate the cement constitution. I am not being held at sawed-off-shotgun-point. :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :swag: :swag:
94 WARNING: THE CEMENT LAWS CAN NO LONGER CONSENT AS THERE ARE LESS THAN 18 OF THEM LEFT. PLEASE DO NOT POST NFSW IN GENERAL CHAT please ple dont do it
95 wake up
96 get on that grind (write one paragraph)
97 have your bedtime milk and cookies and snuggles
98 go to sleep
99 repeat
100 I’m going to buy some illegal Somalian estrogen and sniff cleaning chemicals. Then, I’m going to write something. Your days are limited, bucko.8
101 ok so hear me out what if we all went to the community cement factory in LAville and started a communist revolution wouldnt that be so cool
102 using anime emojis from places like the hololive server in level cement is no longer allowed
103 wouldn’t it be funny if one of the links in this article was actually just an ip grabber
104 Urban Architecture is best when using cement. Wood is for those suburbanites. Losers.
105 I’m not sure what “fly ash, slag, magnesium-based, and other cement alternatives” are, but get them tHE FUCK AWAY FROM ME-
106 No one in Level Cement is to claim that they are “the rat king” and/or “an omnipotent force of ratkind.”
107 As the rats looked upon lil excerium rappername here they decided that he was to become the cement-sewer ambassador.
108 Petition to refer to cement as “gloop” because I’m pretty sure I’ve said cement 500 times up to this point.
109 Midgets lost their height to contribute to the thickness of cement. Bless their tiny souls. (important in the cement festival)
110 Jungle Jam Juice is to be inhaled through the nose for maximum efficiency.
111 [Awaiting De-Classification: Blocked]
112 In the wise words of ross…… ……………
….. ………………
……………………………………9
113 If Tomu does not finish the metrolim article NOW… HE WILL BE REMOVED!! (from level cement)
114 r

Objects

Somalian Estrogen
exactly as it says on the tin. It’s estrogen harvested directly from the rich veins of Somalian femboys. Will give you the masculine urge to UwU and think about home decoration (banachs note: offwhite paint is so in right now).

Cement-Tips™
Cement-Tips!™ #7: We’re not really sure what they are, but they’re kinda everywhere for literally no reason. Can someone write a shitty origin story… IT’S AN EMERGENCY!!! WE NEED ONE NOW!!!

unknown.png

fig 52^+1 cement eater

Cement t.. cemtbn …. cerhbn ..c
honestly. imma keep it real. today? head empty. only cement.
Cement is a HEAVILY-POISONOUS and GROSS-TASTING substance found within Level Cement. As previously stated (and run into the ground,) it causes NOT-DELICIOUS heavy-metal POISONING. god this is like toddler supervision how many times do i have to tell your bitchass

Whipped Cement
A truly fine spread or snack, whipped cement is a variant of cement found by whipping the cement vigorously with a wooden spoon. While it mixes well with many other cement based dishes (like deep fried cement) it does NOT go on bagels. That will cause a chemical reaction leading to widespread fallout dispensation. I repeat, do not put Whipped Cement on bagels.

Item name : dad’s milk
Description : a mysterious liquid said to be found in one of the vending machines in the snack rooms
its contained in a bottle branded “dad’s milk “
its effects are similar to super almond water but also it revives dead people (with in 48 hours) and redo the effects of the party goers. (only needs 1 drop)
But the people revived would have a side effect with their mindset being turned into a dad like mindset

its so rare that if you go out to look for it you will never find it and eventually get lost and never come back …

The Sand
A bottle of sand. When opened, some of it may come out into your eyes, temporarily rendering you blinded. The sand does have a special property of being the only thing close to yellow in level cement. Praise the sand and don’t use it medicinally for it will make everything but your eyes blue. Permanently.
[note: tomu what the fuck is this?]
[note 2: the sand]

Spogol Essence
The very blood of the denizens of the cement. This will give you immortality (real) (will not turn your organs into mush) (is not sulfuric acid) and also super duper powers for beating up backroom entitie.

very cool smooth rock
i found this rock its very cool
i sure hope it isnt one of the five infinity rocks (no relation) and i sure hope there aren’t any unintended cosmic consequences
oh dearie me my entire family has been declared deceased after a particularly nasty shopping cart incident

Sixth dimensional चतुरङ्ग
fun game to play with 2-3.5 players between the ages of 0-99.10

this section of the article is a fucking trainwreck


Joglathan-Sandbox.1

please dont steal its me jogerth if you steal i will stab you with my super stab ability!

It all began when I was born… I hit the wall on the way out. Then I didn’t stick to the wall. Then I fell through the wall. and so joglathan’s backroomig adventure had begun… SHIT SORRY GUYS I CAN’T WRITE ABOUT BACKROOM!!! SORRY MY MOM WILL KILL ME IF SHE FOUNDs out im writing about the yellow room abgain!!

[UPDATE] It’s been… taken care of.

Sorry, no match for the embedded content.

Joglathan's backroomig adverntue

To survive the backrooms… you have to drop your affinity for NASCAR. unfortunately, my old friends never understood this, and perished among the yellow wallers, presumably whilst talking about big wheely automobileys. I, Joglathan, have learned that in the back room… you don’t need friends. Andr, you don’t need parents!!! (they are divorced)

Just an average day in the fuck-knows-where-far-rooms. I’ve laced all of the mousetraps with somalian estrogen, and surrounded my headquarters with them. If any skittler wants to get to my precious laptop (how i talk to my bitches in the backrooms,) they’ll…. GET MUTILATED! JUST LIKE MY PARENTS (PROBABLY!!!)

But… unlike other backroo days, (what the hell there is no day night cycle what the fuck am i on about) this day was different. It was../. ANOTHER FELLOW!!! Maybe, there’s an offchance he might be a big superfan of the backerrooms too.??

“HELLO???” I scream out into the void, like a youtuber in the generic spooky forest where the rake or sglebdermang is. pure emotion and desperation ringing in my voice like uhh uhhh uhhhhh it was really loud idfk??? Silence… and then the bitch runs away like what??? Reinforced my backrooms ideology… you don’t NEED friends! None of that “collectivist shroom tribalism” for me!!

As the time passed… and I was blocked by the cowards I contacted on the darb laptop… chronic loneliness began to take effect on the Joglathan. I WAS GOING INSANE, Y’HEAR?? WACKY POSITIVELY UNHINGED, IN THE BACKROOMS!!! Then I learned the powerful lesson… not even almond water can sate the urge for FRIENDSHIP!!!

As I prepare for the ultimat trek, I psyche myself out, and beat a stray cat I found to death to get myself ready for the journey!! (the cat was a scary entity called a cheshurr. it was to cause the next stock market panic if it were to be left to its own fraudulent devices.)

86 days later…

7 preventable diseases later…

2 kosef hiatuses later…

smeglogo amount of time tbh

I cannot believe it… there are other LEVELS to the BACKROOM!!! My personal canon…. RUINED!! what will I, Joglathan do without the yellow rooms??? Fortunately, I have the sheer dedication and will to go on!! Joglathan is fuckig TROOPER! I made it out of the shitty bakery in one piece, I will find someone else in this fucking schizowriter-induced Isekai HELLWORLD!!

Splorgoborgobo be damned, I FOUND IT! I FOUND THE SHROOM COLLECTIVIST TRIBE!! And among them is the one who ran away from me, a super myestryuoius hooded figure. i ask him to take off the hood and he says that’s what the point of the mask is or some shit

I punch him in the face… and it is revealed to be BARRY, 63?? (JOGLATHANS FATHER??) However could’stve he gotten into the backrooms.

Barry, 63 POURS WORST PINT Ever” Asked To Leave THE BACKROOMS!!!

unknown.png

fig bars Barry, 63

“Son… I’ve poured the worst pint ever.” He begins to explain, “I was instantly thrown out of reality for the ‘socialist beer’ I had created. Where the hell are we???” I was in shock. So much so that I died instantly.

“WE’RE IN THE BACKROOMS!! WE’RE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF REALITY!!!” I paraphrase the line millions have uttered. Unfortunately, in that moment, I had realized something.

“Is that a.. BOMB??”

I had brought a pipe bomb with me on my journey. I checked my watch: 3:00 AM. shit shit shit this isn’t how it ends!!!! A scary entity called police appears from behind the giant mushrooms of the collectivist shroom tribe and shoots Barry 88 times in the back. I throw the pipe bomb with the same energy that my good friend Vizlox uses to detect grammar and spellign errors in applications. My battlecry rings out through the backrms…

“CONSIDER THY PANTS… SHAT!!

The entire fucking backrooms collapses in an instant. Entire levels compress themselves, destroying their inhabitants and skittlers. The sheer power of Joglathan shines throughout multiple dimensions. Large waves tremble The Starlit Sea above, and Erysichthon ceases its consumption for a brief moment. In Joglathan’s hand was the Ourple Rock, one of five mighty infinity rocks. (no relation) legend says that if you combine all five… i really don’t fuckin know man give me a break ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶b̶i̶n̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶5̶ ̶a̶u̶s̶t̶r̶a̶l̶i̶a̶n̶ ̶k̶n̶a̶f̶f̶ ̶s̶p̶a̶w̶n̶s̶

As Joglathan expressed pity upon the destroyed dimension, his sheer power drives him to destroy more. Joglathan’s Backroomig Adventure has ceased… and The Ploojening has just begun.

Joglathan-Sandbox.2

sorry guys this ones like not a very fleshed out idea but i’ll finish it soon!

Difficulty X/5 this level is
Entity Count X/5 (undecided)
Chaos Gradient X/5 (undecided)
i forgot what this is X/5 (undecided)

level (number not decided) is uhh uhhh im not sure yet but there’s concrete and uhhh hot women in your area

debating getting a third sandbox and just fucking around and shitposting in it

gonna do it

deleted:Joglathan-Sandbox.3

unknown.png

j


List of Entities

Humbuswalkers
Class 6 Bitcheroo. Unfathomably annoying.

The humbuswalker, as the name suggests, is really fucking stupid. But somehow, under that shitty cowboy hat and truck-driver-brain is enough cognitive function to carry out the action of BUYING OUT EVERY SINGLE GRAM of hummus in the entirety of this zip code. Humbuswalkers are also known to horde stringbeans, screen-machines, and bitches.

unknown.png

fig 19.0 pure, unfiltered terror.

Skittlers
Class “kinda wacky idk” please remove your eyes.

Scrambler scrumbler, the skittler is a large cththulu-like entity with 40 legs and 60 eyes. It has a habit of screeching at passerby and stealing all their cement and taking pictures of their house.

Ass Smilers
Self-explanatory.

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Copypasta Bitchass
Kinda dumb. Exists without purpose.

A plague has descended upon the cement-covered earth. People who endlessly and robotically repeat these phrases that are referred to as “copypastas.” Many say that these people, whilst unknown in origin, are completely harmless albeit a tad bit annoying. This is true, but at this point. It seems like this server has died, and after today, I think I know why I left, you guys haven't seen it yet. But you will soon, I thought this server might gets its act together after this, but now, its just sad. Its utterly fucking pathetic. Whitenames having more ideas than the ogs themselves who helped to build this site.

Additionally, LA has a problem with users telling each other to kill themselves. I’m staying away LA until this is fixed. I’ve been told to kill myself serval times within the last hour including by 2 admins. I need to take a break for my mental health. I’m not going to associate with a server where this shit happens.
Honestly LA has quite a few underlying problems like its inability to keep over half of its new members for longer than a few hours, it’s bullying of non-cons, and there only being one responsible admin on the server(Knaff). I’m going to leave until the server improves.11

unknown.png

fig 0.0 The Primordial Smiler.

Primordial Smiler
Wrath.

Spoggors
Entity 67-Z — otherwise known as Spoggors — are an especially strange derivation of Entity 67. The exact evolutionary process that birthed this subspecies is unknown. What is known, however, is that these entities are remarkably dangerous — posing a significant threat to all surrounding lifeforms. Local communities have issued warnings in areas where Spoggors are prevalent.

For more information, see: spoggors

THE MANIACAL MENACING MANIAC
FILE TRUNCATED AND REDACTED FOR PROTECTION. DO NOT OPEN OR I WILL RELEASE THE DEATH SUBSTANCE IN YOUR HOUSE, WHICH WILL CAUSE a moderate amount of harm. DO NOT SEE!!! OR IT WILL SEE YOU!!!
If you fully insist on clicking… I have no choice.
[[SUPERSCHIZOMODE ACTIVATED]]
[[PREPARING MASS BLUNJEE-GRADE CYBERATTACK…]]
[[[[PLRVERATING…]]

Colonies and Snoojposting

When schizos meet, they become a dischizo. When dischizos meet, they become a forum. When forums come together, there are schizopoli.12 Within the depths of the cements and conk creets, many people somehow make a living, presumably selling fish, postcards, or non-fungible tokens.

This Fucker's House
Some dude decided he needed to set up his own “one-man community.” Probably the type of shitbag to make a finite level that’s literally just his self-insert’s manor or some shit for literally no reason.

According to the demented fuckwit, he welcomes all people unless you’re aggressive. well yeah i mean of course??? Also, apparently he has tamed entities or some other bullshit. Absolutely insane. I will trash on this man until the end of time but he does make a mean cementburger so I’ll let it slide.

The Trackrunners
A schizopoli of insane hermits, these people are dedicated to running marathons. Unfortunately, there is no solid ground large enough. This has led to large volumes of people running in place or hilariously trying to run on the gloopy cement. (they are running towards your location at high speeds)

HELLO I’M THE RUNNER I’M RUNNING FOR LEVEL CEMENT EDIT ACCESS AND I WANT TO KEEP RUNNING UNTIL MY ORGANS FAIL!!!! ALWAYS STAY ON THAT RUNNING GRIND i can run from level cement but i cannot run from my problems (my problem is the increase in car-centric infrastructure across the united states)

Middlesex
pfffTTT HAHAHAHAHAHH NO LIKE SERIOUSLY I’M FUCKING HYSTERICAL
THEY WERE LIKE “We will name this land after the middle saxons, and the name will be sure to endure the test of time.” DAME DA RIGHT IT DID YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!!! DOLTS!!! INSANE, EVEN?? HOW’D THEY SNEAK THAT INTO ENGLAND’S LIST OF REGIONS??? WOULD YOU PLEASE THINK of those innocent spogoroom fans??

The Cement Federation
The Federation, originally The Holy Republic of the Sambursook’s Shoulder Arthritis, is the closest real approximation of “Oceania” from George Orwell’s “1984.” They claim ownership over the entirety of Level Cement, and MY FUCKING BACKYARD. Yeah, I’m fucking serious! they fucking bolted over and FUCKING ANNEXED MY FLOWER GARDEN. who the fuck just does that? plvrated.

gDFi9n.jpg

fig 99.7 look at this fuckin idiot lmao

Like the overconfident assholes they are, they have outlawed glue-sniffing, paste-eating, and even the consumption of cement. They single out us fellow cement-eaters and go “Oi! That’s an odd looking bloke, that one!” or, god forbid, “You think that guy likes The Backrooms?”

UHHMMM… I’D LIKE TO ADDRESS THE CLEAR BIAS!!! THEY’RE CLEARLY AGAINST THE CEMENT FEDERATION HERE??? I THOUGHT THAT ALL ARTICLES WERE BE SUPPOSED TO BE THE BE THE WRITTEN SUPPOSED TO IN THE WAY THAT DOESN’T DO THAT??? YOU. ME. CRIT THREAD. NOW!

Lastly, The Federation has this weird citizen application process. Within it lies so many rules and footnotes it means less than the fucking youtube guidelines at this point what the hell

Cement-Tips!:™: #0: It always gets worse.

wiki number twelve
those W.N.T. members banned me from theyre server… LITTLE DO THEY KNOW!!! I’M MAKING LEVEL CEMENT BABEY!!! I will slander them.. to such a GRAND AUDIENCE!!!! they’r’air’e’’’ wiki SUCKS! and the server owner pissed on MY WIFE. THAT’S RIGHT. AND HE TOLD ME “testball” AND I SAID THAT’S DISGUSTING. I’M MAKING A CALLOUT POST ON MY TWITTER DOT COM.

The Scungles
These… people.. are supposed scientists that believe they’ve transformed into elder-gods known as “Scungles.” Upon further inspection, the scientists have tripped so hard on what we now know to be “Super-DMT” that this has happened to them. The highest Scungle elites are working on a new, more potent drug called “The Scunge.” Theoretically, upon use, The Scunge will purify the world, and every being will ascend to scunglehood.

Those not involved in scunge-research aim to achieve a hippy society based on weed and universal healthcare.13


THE BACKROOMS: THE NEW HIT HORROR CRAZE!

Welcome bastard-squad, back to another BACKROOMS LEVEL REVIEW! Today, we’re reviewing LEVEL 10: THE SQUALMOND FIELDS. Honestly, I really fucking hate almonds. Why are they everywhere?? Can someone please answer coherently in the comments instead of trying to push their own schizo-lore? PLEASE???

Overall, Level 10 gets a 2/10 on the BASTARD-AWESOME INDEX for me. Moving on to bigger and better things, we will be interviewing a PISS DEMON for information regarding the space in which it dwells !! WHY? idk man i need it for my backrooms level i am an aspiring backroom level backroom writer you see

[LOG 3 BEGIN]

ALRIGHTY BASTARD-SQUAD, WE’RE LIVE IN A BRAND NEW, UNDISCOVERED LEVEL OF THE BAACKROOM!! ALL I NEED TO DO IS GIVE THE SIGNAL!!

*AHEM*

“I know about the Google Earth black zones, and I wish to consult an expert.”

hello yes i am backroom entity

IT WORKED!!!

what is your wish mortal

I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT BACK ROOM

[This is the last we had heard of this man before we found him in Level 10, brutally maimed and disemboweled.]

[LOG 3 END]

Level Concrete is my personal h [[Archivist Kakyoin is not permitted to edit this document in any form whatsoever]]
I can edit your documents how much I fucking want. YOu dont KNow HOW LONG I SPENT GETTING CEMENT LEVEL CLEARENCE!!! IM GOING TO MURDER YOU EXCERIUM.

*Current president of the Federative Republic of Brazil steps on stage*
“It is now with a heavy heart, that I announce the death of the only Brazillian archivist that made it into the cadre. Archivist Kakyoin. If you’re hearing this from heaven, or hell, or whatever you are, Level Concrete is real.

The dense concentration of unfunny jokes and death threats present inside the dyson sphere killed all my agents. The Brazillian Baseline Protection Branch is destroyed. During the last moments of our agents lives, they saw him.

A baked product, with a golden color. An apple pie. He was responsible, He is the man behind the slaughter. It’s been so long since i’ve last seen my son, lost to this monster, the pie behind the death of our agents.

My life is now in danger. The Cement Federation has a multi-trillion (Zimbabwe Dollars) bounty on my head. I will just let you know one thing, Level Concrete is y”

*A thermonuclear bomb landed on the location, killing everyone present.*

Level 4762 is a level of the Backrooms. It’s a collection of some office halls containing only drywall and wooden floors, and no decorations. There are no threats within the level. Due to its connections with unsafe levels that are unpredictable, there are also no settlements nor colonies. (are those the same thing? idk change in post)

To enter Level 4762, you can take an elevator from Level 48, or perform the level ritual (unexplained) in Level 200. To exit…

I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!

DOES ANYONE FUCKING GET SICK OF THIS SHIT?? IT’S BEEN 7 YEARS AND WE’RE MAKING THE SAME ATROCIOUS CONTENT!!! NO ONE IMPORTANT EVEN REMEMBERS THE BACKROOMS AT THIS POINT BUT LIKE THE SAME INSANE SCHIZOPHRENIC GROUP OF PEOPLE FOLLOW IT RELIGIOUSLY… INCLUDING ME?? WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING??? WHERE DID ALL THE TIME GO?????!!! !!! WHERE ARE THE ANSWERS

HOW.. HOW DO I LEAVE THE Ba-

Connection terminated.

I’m sorry to interrupt you, Joglathan. If you still even remember that name. But I’m afraid you’ve been pulling information from the wrong wiki. You are not here to write in peace. Nor have you been called here by the deranged schizo you assume. Although, you have indeed been called.

You have all been called here. Into an endless maze of wallpaper and mushy carpet, wasted time, mental breakdowns, confusing canons, ravenous skittlers, and the occasional groomer. A labyrinth with no exit threshold. A maze with no super duper nut water at the end. You, like many other fans, don’t even realize that you are trapped anymore. Your lust of fame has wasted your time limitlessly. Chasing the cries of non-cons just beyond the screen, but so undeserving of your attention.

Yet, somehow out of reach. But, you will never acquire their attention. None of the wikis will. This is where The Backrooms ends.

And to you, my brave moderator, who somehow found this staff application biased against you. Although, there was an exit planned for you, I have a feeling that’s not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be.

I am remaining as well. In Baseline Reality, always one impossible step away.

This place, although endless and consisting of large endless places, will not stand the test of time. It will not be remembered, and the shitty yellow wallpaper story we all read in school and the Everywhere at The End of Time that started this, can finally begin to [R1 - Place in the World Fades Away.] As the agony of every discord drama should.

And to you abominations roaming the halls. Be still. And give up your shitty Backrooms Levels you made in 15 minutes. They stopped belonging to you the second you started putting them on whatever site you use.

As for most of you, I believe there is grass to touch and perhaps, bitches, waiting for you after the smoke pulls a server-owner-move and fades away. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Backrooms-FANDOM Hell has opened to swallow you whole. So, don’t keep the ravenous yet eternal Backrooms-Fans waiting, former server owner.

To the person mentioned in my contingency plan, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It’s in your nature to return a week after promising that you’re departing from the community forever. I’m sorry that on that day, the day you were shadowbanned and left to seethe, no one was there to spogo your jongoloids, the way you told people to cope and mald after committing atrocities in the Bosnian wars.

And then, what became of you, I should have known, you wouldn’t be content with that singular downvote on that one thing you wrote. Not THE Brazilian. (there is only one person from brazIl the rest do not exist)

I couldn’t save you then. So, let me save you now. It’s time to leave the general-chat, for you, and for the deranged crowds you attempted to attract to your Backrooms Content.

This ends.

For all of us.

End communication.14

Level 6 is the last level of The Backrooms, no strings attached! All you have to do is do your shitty backroom speedrun techniques like the backroom superfan you are, and get to the super bullshit computer by noclipping through a wall! How do you noclip? FUCK YOU!! NOCLIPPING WILL NEVER BE EXPLAINED AND IT WILL BE TREATED AS IF IT IS COMMON KNOWLEDGE TO EVERYONE OVER THE AGE OF 6!!! Once you get to the mega computer terminal windows 98, download reality.exe and get the hell out of there!! It’s THAT easy! (not an albanian virus)


Entrances and GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW

Entrances
why would you ever want to come here what the fuck is wrong with you
i mean
Okay????

To enter Level Cement, you must be aware of multiple rumors and conspiracies regarding the deep state. To skip this step, being an activist against the climate-disaster-causing effects of concrete production is an effective alternative. If someone named “Christian Ferrante” calls you in for an interview, refusing to answer will cause numerous splitting headaches, followed by an apparent sinking feeling.

The constant mental and emotional suffering will only cease when one becomes disillusioned with reality. Only then, may you enter hell.

Either that, or you could do some noclipping/threshold-travel bullshit in the backrooms. Something about “attempting to strike down god.”

HELLO ALSO YOU COULD LIKE RUN REALLY FAST AND THEN END UP IN LEVEL CEMENT!!! TRY IT JUST FUCKING GO OUTSIDE AND RUN REALLY FAST AND YOULL END UP IN THE CEMENT LEVLER

Exits
39 dead, 0 found.

To return to this disappointing reality we call home, I’m pretty sure there’s like a door somewhere… IF YOU’RE A PUSSY!!! LET ME SHOW YOU HOW A REAL GAMER LEAVES LEVEL CEMENT!!!

…You’re gonna have to bear with me here. First, you must have a gallon of Jungle Jam Juice as well as a sufficient number of bitches within your possession. (AS A GAMER, THE REQUIRED NUMBER IS ZERO!!!) Then, you have to head to the lower section of the cement plain. THE SUPER CEMENT LEAVE GLITCH ONLY WORKS AT THESE COORDINATES!!! -84.34476779, 233.10238754. GOT IT??? If you don’t ill run really fast towards you and youll die and be like ouch

You’ll know you’re at the exit point when you hear the hear the screams of the avert monolith!! (one of the five super rocks, no relation.) Once at the location, decrease the sound quality of your microphone to incomprehensible levels.

Press the keys on your keyboard in the following order: left, left, down, up, right, left, left, right, down, down, up, 2 on the numpad, print screen, up, up, down, rip the space button out of the keyboard, down, down, left, down, up, left, left, right, right, right, right, hold the left key for 2 hours straight, alt + f4, the f25 key, left, down, put the spacebar back into the keyboard upside-down, 6 on the numpad, left, left, right, c, e, m, e, n, t, left, down, down, up, left, right, right, right, down, left, bash your head into the keyboard, switch chord to C Major, do a barrel roll, left, turn on your nintendo switch, buy LIMSPACE: THE GAME with what remains of your life savings, beat the game in four minutes flat, use a pneumatic piston to press the z key, type your credit card number, log onto roblox and kill at least 5 players in any game without pressing the w key, 4 on the numpad, use your nose to spell out “nose,” go onto LA and upvote testball, blow your brains out with a 12-gauge nerf shotgun, and then press the down key twice.

Repeating this technique thrice will build into your attack combo on the floor below, making it highly unstable. At this point, you should be disowned by your parents. If not, you will have to go to the nearest bathroom when the clock reaches E:00 AM, and scream “AMONG US!!!” 69 times. A scary entity called your mom should take you to the orphanage stage of Level Cement.

Once qualified for the next step, you will be able to activate a snooj rift. Forsake any and all gods you may have once looked up to. This includes Knaffism. Now, I know it might be hard, but you have to uninstall discord. I’m sorry, but it has to be done. It’s time to be based, and touch some grass.

Once achieved, grass will begin to grow around you within the cement. Once this happens, you are in grave fucking danger. The Cement Administrators will have realized your ploy, and the Federation will send hundreds of mercenaries towards your location at once. Prepare for literal McFucking wave survival.

Surviving the waves of degenerates mostly comes down to skill, but there are few methods to make survival easier. All of the following techniques will help you out:

  • squambling the sneed
  • Unsubscribe to Dream if able: This will summon your father.
  • literally just fucking killing them
  • Utilize the powers of one of the super cool infinity rocks! (no relation.) This includes The Ourple Rock, the really cool smooth rock, THE SPLONGO STONE, The Avert Monolith, or the ███████.
  • adorn the partygoer cosplay. will bring in the horde.
  • yell racial slurs as a defense mechanism to activate nightmare mode. (this will not help you. more people will go after you.)
  • just noclip lmao
  • SPIN TECHNIQUE!!! GET IN THE ZONE!!!
  • do nothing and DIE LIT
  • Confess your sins and re-integrate into Knaffism. The Canadian blessing will ward off danger.
  • Become a hugbox and convince the public that you’re such a smol bean that would never do anything wrong!! I would never leave Level Cement im such a wholesome 🥺🥺🥺
  • literally just KILL THEM
  • Instantly acquire all of the items from Risk of Rain 2.
  • Bring with you a bag of seeds that will turn the wave survival into PvZ 4: The Cement Shitstorm.
  • Cause an economic calamity for gits and shiggles
  • AND SO MUCH MOORE!!!! (bad)

Once you’ve dismantled the mercenary force and the electric grid, the final step involves meeting up with your internet frens irl and forming the optimal cottagecore community. Following the ritualistic sacrifice of one of your fellow village founders, the snooj rift may be activated as long as you’ve pissed at least 76 gallons into a mailbox within the last ?? days.

Now that you’re out of The Backrooms… the fuck’s a liminal space?

Additional Documentation - Cement Seal Court Case

unknown.png

wrong look at this healthy little guy!

The following is a transcription of a court session that took place on April 27th, 2021.
As of the following week, it will be on display in an archive alongside other cement-related documentation.

[LOG 4 BEGIN]

Judge: Order in the #public.

Reeves: You’re honor, I-

Judge: Fix your diction, asshole.

Reeves: A couple years back, this mischievous seal was found to have consumed large portions of cement, equal to that of the catastrophe in the early 2010s. As stated by our jurisdiction, we are still in a time in which punishment may be dished out.

Judge: bitch ur boring as fuck

Judge: can we put this to a staff vote

Zased-Attorney: HOLD IT!

[…]

Reeves: You can’t just say “Hold it!” and like not fucking do anything

Zased-Attorney: yeah hold on gotta find this shit

[…]

[…]

Judge: so like you wanna go out and get coffee or someth-

Zased-Attorney: Between 2011 and 2013, more cement was consumed in China than what was used across the entire US over the course of the 20th century.

Reeves: Yeah. And you’re gonna fucking tell me that it was all those clumsy rule-breakers, and not this fatass cement-filled seal.

*The seal begins whimpering.*

Zased-Attorney: In the formal claim document you sent in, Reeves, you claimed that this happened when the seal was… six years old? How could this take place over multiple years??

Reeves: You’re diving into cementics.

Judge: Order in the #public.

[…]

Judge: sorry i just wanted to say that again you see i just got janny yesterday

Judge: carry on

Head-Archivist Basset: I know I’m not supposed to speak up at all but may I ask why you’re so fixated on this stupid fucking case?

Reeves: This is serious, Basset.

Head-Archivist Basset: …and that seal is a pritoria-index-5 beast. sure.

Archivist Kakyoin: just like your mom lmao

Zased-Attorney: TAKE THAT!

[…]

Zased-Attorney: Upon further medical examination that took place in 2018, the Seal’s throat is seemingly malformed, to the point where that much cement-feasting could not have taken place.

Reeves: biology dont matter in this fucking hellhole

Judge: LEVEL CEMENT is a BEAUTIFUL UTOPIAN ZASED COTTAGECORE COMMUNITY.

Head-Archivist Basset: Refrain from using the term “hellhole.”

Reeves: And you’re allowed to use the word, “zased?”

Head-Archivist Basset: See: Cement Law #28.

Zased-Attorney: can we like get back to my rebuttal

[…]

Zased-Attorney: thanks. Okay, so… as I was saying, it would be biologically impossible-

Reeves: OBJECTION!!

Judge: oh for fucks sake not you too

Reeves: This data was collected in 2018! The crimes took place from 2011 to 2013!

Zased-Attorney: ok and

*The Cement Seal steps up to the plate, with a birth certificate.*

Reeves: oh my fucking god-

Archivist Kakyoin: ayo you got more popcorn??

Head-Archivist Basset: nah bitch get your own

*some random guy named clicky posts a gif of a shocked anime girl in chat*

Zased-Attorney: DUE TO THIS MALFORMED FEATURE THAT MANIFESTED AT BIRTH, THERE IS NO WAY THIS SEAL COULD’VE CONSUMED THAT MUCH CEMENT IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME.

Reeves: we still detected cement. we always know. I say we still get 'em on a petty cement-feaster charge.

Zased-Attorney: i bet you don’t even have an air fryer. why don’t you go cement some bitches instead?

Reeves: wh-

Zased-Attorney: OBJECTION!!!

Zased-Attorney: The evidence of the volume of cement consumed still stands, but it could not have been realistically consumed, even in 2 years flat with no breaks.

Zased-Attorney: I’m suggesting… that the seal was forced to eat cement when it was six.

Judge: oh shit like that one meme where its like “he was forced to eat cement when he was six”

Zased-Attorney: And the offender… IS REEVES!!

Reeves: WHAT THE FUCK-

Zased-Attorney: L + RATIO + SHUT THE FUCK UP + GET OFF THE STAGE + OBTAIN THE TALKING STICK BEFORE YOU VOCALIZE MORE TRASH

Zased-Attorney: The only way that much cement could end up in the system of the seal is by the use of the splongo stone, one of five super mega-rocks.

Head-Archivist Basset: what the fuck are you talking about honestly

Archivist Kakyoin: No, he’s got a point!

Zased-Attorney: And the person in possession of the Splongo Stone.. Is Reeves.

Reeves: bitch you know that aint true

Zased-Attorney: It’s literally in your hand. I can see it.

Reeves: fuck

Judge: Alright, I’ve seen enough.

Judge: Reeves, I hereby find you guilty of assault, forced cement consumption, having 7 alternate accounts, false accusations, bitching n’ witching, pretending to be Sudanese, being in possession of a timeless artifact for no fucking reason, offsite bigotry, unzasedness, and undergoing a severe lack of judgement involving a minor.

Reeves: oh well, time to curb my losses and make my own backrooms wiki!!

Archivist Kakyoin: wow that guy really sucks can someone kill him

Judge: 5 steps ahead at all times.

Judge: I hereby declare this court, “fact-checked by trve american patriots. REAL SHIT ✅”

Banach: I’m here!

Banach: I’m dead.

Banach: ..This is unreal.

Banach: Based.

Banach: Mental.

[LOG 4 END]






























Level Cement - The Truth

To start, Level Cement is something to be treated with maturity. It is not something to spread rumors about, nor is it real in the way many think it is. Level Cement is an omnipresent phenomena affecting all sentient individuals across every single known limspace. The page displayed above is one of many “information hoards” it controls.

By “it,” none of us are exactly sure if it is some sort of entity, or some sort of automation. Its behaviors include transferring information, siphoning random thoughts, and throwing the mass of data into a database which it will seemingly guard and slowly feed more and more data by adding additional details. After taking control of this page, the format seemed to mimic that of many of our other articles, but almost never copying verbatim.

Level Cement is meant to be treated as misinformation, and links to it are to be removed. Deleting it or heavily editing the page has been observed to be fruitless, as all of our changes would always revert as if it had complete control over this small section of the archives.

Manifestation

The phenomena has been only seen to manifest in small secluded sectors of limspaces, fading in and out of existence over long periods of time. Affected wanderers have described these locations to have a “haze” or “presence” within them. Affected spaces inflict debilitating effects on all senses, most particularly sight and hearing. This escalates to losing the ability to think straight, or even memory loss.

Level Cement feeds on the minds of wanderers passing through empty, lonely places. Like a mosquito drawing a miniscule amount of blood, Level Cement stashes away small amounts of data in its mass, for a purpose that is yet unknown. Many speculate that with enough data, Level Cement will manifest fully, as a limspace… or possibly something else.


Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International license