Generic3 you outdid yourself, bravo
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in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » This Sewer System Hates You
Short but I enjoyed a lot. Usually I'm super huge on the idea of it letting you go to anywhere in existence if you travel deep enough into it but I mean its been a thing for 4 years and nobody has done anything silly with it, on precedent though I wouldn't like it since I didn't like keymaster for similar reasons. Although this has restrictions. Any sewer limspace OR any irl location seems fairly balanced tbh, and stage 6 maybe leads wherever but that's just speculation.
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » Wetlands Of The Nihil Cloudburst
Overall really liked this actually! GOOOOOOD Job knaffalito :swag_love:
i thought it might feel too long, but it doesn't, really. It felt about right imo.
I liked the here be dragons sort of section at the start, primed me to read some crazy epic shit. Slight nitpick in that "…and nothing more" kinda answers the question for the reader on whether its all real. I mean when I read that it reads as you trying to Tell us its all real if you get me.
Two poem sections back to back next and they're not bad poems, but if I had to pick, I'd probably keep the first and cut the second if I were being a brutal evil editor man.
Alllllso biggest nitpick of all Koælus isnt a very intuitive thing to pronounce for a poor angloid like me so im like… koaylus? Koahlus? And it makes the already kinda flowery poetry a bit more confusing than it maybe needed to be.
I see what you did with the "it was called Koælus… the land before" section you little sneaky sneak. Dont think you can slip a dark souls reference past ME. Dark destroyer, DARK IS LITERALLY IN MY NAME.
Not a bad way to write a page anyway since it IS writing about a character. The witch queen
Small nitpick "where it lie in accordance with other Limspaces" should be changed I would think? Lies? Lays? Idk im not John Grammar.
I do get what you were going for with the page and I'd upvote. Just a few itsy bitsy pet peeves.
+1
BF Index is simple and doesn't detract from anything, also makes the page read like someone more to the point and scientifically minded wrote it which is cool.
Extrauniversal void is a bit eh as far as a descriptor goes, as its not really a void?
Level used for a non backrooms thing but can't fault Doey for that as he might have left Before we changed it idk.
Cheshire manifold idea is cool, conceptually quite fun although it is Not intuitive to think about and visualise.
Mental effects of the limspace felt kinda tacked on. But there's no huge problems with the page. Nowadays I'd probably novote this. Cool ideas and its clearly meant to be written by a more serious sciency guy but idk quite short and doesn't have the human touch I'd like
I'm upvoting, as it's good, with a slight tiny nitpick in that I don't like the BF Index at the top. Uses both the word "level" and "anomalous" but it doesn't ruin the page by any means.
Knafflad - Ohmeghon - Nostworks
We're so back LA is in the new year. This is comment is belated as hell, but I doubt anyone will see this))))))
did I just see the corpse… twitch‽
Holy carp, Lois
Knafflad - Ohmeghon - Nostworks
Thanks to Knaff and Ink for the following crits! <•,""']{
https://discord.com/channels/792245826117304340/1409723185347428482/1410695311827140709
https://discord.com/channels/792245826117304340/1409723185347428482/1506426539011477589
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » Monsters And Hunters 2025
congrats for winning it was really competitive!
I must say this is so eloquently put. It somehow brought long dormant feelings within for the derelict and abandoned, and absorbed me to it like water to a sponge… not the most eloquent myself. At least it excited me to write proper application text haha
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » Jennifer Lives A Normal Life
Got an idea here but it doesn't have charm. It is an exposition about our character, Jennifer, and we gather a few traits about her such as how she views the world, maturity, her routine, and her hardiness. However, we do not have a reason to care about her nor her routine.
The routine is spruced up with some clever similes, metaphors, and the like. However, it lacks presence. Surely at this point in the routine, Jennifer could describe the aroma of her coffee each day much better than not at all. What is so great about the aroma that it pushes her to get up? Is it a brief escape from the toiling life through sunny pasture?
It may be intentionally robotic if you are intending on going the route of taking a cog out of a machine and spinning it down a hill. However, you must keep in mind, this is the introduction, the place where you need to hook your readers. Make us care about Jennifer, add intrigue, do something more than just the routine. Even if it is a normal/regular life, there is bound to be something unique about it that readers can latch onto. Every life is unique.
The only real source of conflict immediately apparent is the breakup with Leon, and that is a good chunk of the way through the section. Perhaps find a way to introduce it sooner. Maybe Jennifer wakes up and recognizes the room feels larger or that something has been missing for a while.
This page gets more downvotes than it deserves.
GREAT question.
The answer lies in the half shitpost nature of this article. It’s just as wonderful as it is ridiculous.
Glad you enjoyed =)
Knafflad - Ohmeghon - Nostworks
Good article, but why is entity number listed as "Bear"
Admin-Nerd
in discussion Writing / Drafts » [LIMSPACE IDEA] - The Underside
Sorry I got confused I meant that entities in general could silence speakers.
Admin-Nerd
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » Blue Static America
If you end up in Alaska can you go to any of the other US states? I'm asking because Alaska isn't next to any other US states.
Admin-Nerd
Hands down my favorite system.
page revision: 0, last edited: 25 Dec 2020 03:09