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Another article. Hopefully this one redeems my past failure which was the sinking hospital.
Anyways, I am rewriting my old stuff and bad stuff.

This is a pretty big leap in what I usually write.

As always, any feedback would be appreciated.

Crit from Bluetang's Rock and Bloof
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/971155650304413726/1027057346461040731/crit_bermuda_bloof.jpg

Angry water by Nautilus98Nautilus98, 05 Oct 2022 04:41

I’ll eventually be returning back to this, when I’m less busy with schoolwork.

TY for Feedback by jan Jejasajan Jejasa, 04 Oct 2022 20:20

Hey that only took like two months not bad 👍


Knafflad - Ohmeghon - Nostworks

by knaffladknafflad, 04 Oct 2022 16:58
Laughably Short
TwhalliiiiiTwhalliiiii 03 Oct 2022 20:36
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » STONE

It's laughable how short this article is.

(and thats the best part. +1)

Laughably Short by TwhalliiiiiTwhalliiiii, 03 Oct 2022 20:36
Author Post
VizloxVizlox 03 Oct 2022 20:25
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » STONE

Thank you to AlmardukAlmarduk, BetterMyButterBetterMyButter, DrainedWellDrainedWell, knaffladknafflad and TwhalliiiiiTwhalliiiii for crit.

crit

Author Post by VizloxVizlox, 03 Oct 2022 20:25

Been thinking about this. In rewrite I think I will remove it from Thalasso. I feel as though at the time I kinda forced it to be a Thalasso article.

A rewrite so far would be a tale of someone who sought refuge in a hospital limspace(threshold maybe?) but through some meshing of limspaces, the hospital was plunged into an endless ocean. The wanderer would document their struggles and encounters before eventually leaving the notes in the hands of their rescuers.

As for pressure, I do take it into consideration for other articles but in this one I wanted the ocean to be timeless and unchanging. Keeping at the same pressure and color.

Re: Time Sink by Nautilus98Nautilus98, 28 Sep 2022 03:52

I feel like it would make more sense if this was a solitary limspace and not part of Thalasso. If it was solitary, it could take place in an ocean that is infinitely large both horizontally and vertically, which would result in equal pressure everywhere, I think.

But since it's Thalasso, that means there's presumably a surface to the ocean, which means there can't be equal pressure.

Re: Time Sink by VizloxVizlox, 26 Sep 2022 18:54

Cool ideas! I would like to hear more about "time sinking" into the depths, and I think the article could greatly benefit from expanding that idea in a few creative ways.

Also, I see an inherent problem with endlessly sinking that kinda makes the whole thing collapse for me: water pressure. If the hospital is indeed sinking forever, would it not simply be crushed by the unfathomable PSI? It breaks my immersion! What happens when you reach PSI that would compress the molecular structure of water into a plasma? Would you sink until you hit "heavy" water that's been compressed into a solid structure by nothing but its own weight? How is the inside of the hospital pressurized if areas of it have indeed succumbed to the pressure and have taken on water?

Don't get me wrong, the idea of endlessly sinking is very cool. My first instinct is to go full science-brained on it though, and it falls apart under scrutiny.


Knafflad - Ohmeghon - Nostworks

Time Sink by knaffladknafflad, 26 Sep 2022 17:26

You made the archives feel alive when we have spent years detailing worlds that are dead. This is the spark I wish to achieve in my own work, and you handled a character I dreamed up with so much care and love. I’m humbled and very happy and this article was a joy to read from start to finish.

Walk tall, I have a feeling this entry will inspire a lot of our authors :D


Knafflad - Ohmeghon - Nostworks

Damn, this is the sort of thing I've been really thirsting to see done with the universe since day 1. Thank you.

by AlmardukAlmarduk, 25 Sep 2022 23:52

I understand completely what you mean. That is why the first step is removing the history section.

Next, I need to take apart the document and rewrite it into a tale. Perhaps someone from within the hospital struggling to survive.

Thanks for reading!

Thanks for feedback by Nautilus98Nautilus98, 25 Sep 2022 21:54

This is a very enjoyable concept and aesthetic shining through a poor delivery. From the prose itself to the introduction of lore I would change pretty much everything, but the contents themselves I wouldn't.

Especially the way the story at the end is delivered feels clunky and antitonal. It's written far too straightforwardly and densely where the vagueness of the rest of the article is a far better fit. Most elements from it you could take out and incorporate as descriptions of the environment, leaving only a short, sweet core to sell the concept so much better.

It is a delightful read in spite of its flaws.

by AlmardukAlmarduk, 25 Sep 2022 05:12
AlmardukAlmarduk 25 Sep 2022 05:04
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » Valley Of The Choir

Novoting. The idea is beautiful and the tone is fitting, but it goes too far to the purple side to really sell its story. At times it indulges in silly concepts like the Jingles and Jangles and at times it has grand things like the Ensemble and the remnants of the valley — both of these would be perfectly fine in isolation but the way they're described next to each other feels like a jarring change in tone. It wouldn't take much to smooth out the transition, frankly.

by AlmardukAlmarduk, 25 Sep 2022 05:04
AlmardukAlmarduk 25 Sep 2022 05:00
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » Crumbling Dungeons

Everything here was an enjoyable here until the very end to the warning notice. I did not like the lore implications and general attitude implied to the Archives. The collection of items didn't feel like it added much either (especially that Castilian document) but it's more like dead weight than an active drawback.

That said, I very much liked the aesthetic, and the vague sort of environmental storytelling is something we could use much more of. Good stuff.

by AlmardukAlmarduk, 25 Sep 2022 05:00
AlmardukAlmarduk 25 Sep 2022 04:50
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » Altered Hospital

There is a good story here under a thick cover of poor prose, dialogue and pacing. I feel like there's little detail put into the environments and sensations of the protagonist and the old man in the hospital, which are vital to strengthening the emotional core of the story. There's not even a decent sense of why the protagonist is there, both in a direct sense (why they're exploring this building) and in an indirect sense (why they're in this world, doing these things).

That said, there's a good enough core that I did enjoy reading this. It just needs a bit more refinement of the craft behind it.

by AlmardukAlmarduk, 25 Sep 2022 04:50
goodendinggoodending 23 Sep 2022 20:14
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » Jerboas

fucking little small bitch, i want to squeeze it till it pops

+1

by goodendinggoodending, 23 Sep 2022 20:14
VizloxVizlox 21 Sep 2022 03:55
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » Liminal Writing Guide

Thank you to AlmardukAlmarduk, AscriberAscriber, BetterMyButterBetterMyButter, BloofBloof, Worm that WalksWorm that Walks and SariastuffSariastuff for helping me to put this guide together.

Portions of this writing guide are based on the RPC Writers' Guide, written primarily by DrPiersonDrPierson, SinaticusSinaticus, CroalCroal and Von PincierVon Pincier.

by VizloxVizlox, 21 Sep 2022 03:55

As of June 2022, Liminal Archives is no longer accepting new members to the site or Discord.

This means you cannot join unless personally invited by a writer already in the community. However, you may also be granted access to the community by messaging a staff member a completed draft you have written on our sandbox site.

Exceptions will also be made for users who were previously part of the site or are currently members of the Discord server. If you were previously a member of the site, say so in your application. If you are a member of the Discord server, include your Discord username in your application.

We hope to encourage all of our members a productive time during this slow period, and we apologize for any inconvenience!

VizloxVizlox 18 Sep 2022 03:12
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » Formatting Guide

Thank you to DrjeminDrjemin for letting me adapt his formatting guide for LA!

by VizloxVizlox, 18 Sep 2022 03:12

That's a huge relief- I'm glad that this will be improved. This is a very solid foundation to build from :)

Re: -1 by BetterMyButterBetterMyButter, 17 Sep 2022 20:10
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