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I have now changed from what I thought originally. Seeing now that the level is being deleted, I chose to reread the article.
The main problems I see are strange grammar issues, short and mundane descriptions, and no real purpose.
The mystery is a complete mystery because there was no follow-up that could have saved the level from its mundaneness. A rewrite that changed this village into an older German village with some other minor changes could have made something interesting.
Auf Wiedersehen.
This article is under the deletion threshold and will be deleted in 24 hours.
Thank you!
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » Fable #48 - "City-in-the-Mist"
I need to take an undergraduate to understand this. Obviously it’s kino, you don’t need me to tell you that :^)
Knafflad - Ohmeghon - Nostworks
Imo you got a very well deserved win for this article.
I’ve seen many stories like this (with a single individual carrying a story through the mono-hell of the backrooms, overcoming trials and starvation, etc) but this is certainly the most engrossing one I’ve read yet. Exa was a fine character — interesting enough to make me wonder if he was truly human or perhaps something, more — and a comforting presence that I enjoyed getting to know. Exa didn’t have to speak, but Derec spoke plenty enough for the both of them.
A great read! The sprinkling of LA lore was nice and it was a good take on the setting and people. Will definitely be recommending this piece to others.
Knafflad - Ohmeghon - Nostworks
I don't believe it's possible
Does anyone know how to do a set of tabs within a tab? I would like to know for some sandboxes I have. Thanks!
My entire life has boiled down to this moment. This keyboard. What I write to you now is my blood, shed for your amusement.
We are now accepting membership applications again! Apply here.
In 2.5 hours, I will enter a new year. I wanted to get this started for everyone. Happy New Year! I hope you have a wonderful time bringing it in and seeing it through!
With happiness,
dracodiablo99
My entire life has boiled down to this moment. This keyboard. What I write to you now is my blood, shed for your amusement.
Amazing concept!
Minor nitpick however, what gas does the nighthound produce and what makes it noxious??
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » The Other Worlds Blue Fields
My second entry for the Lore contest. This time, I am working on internet speech and mimicking forums. I also wanted to mess around a tiny bit with some simple CSS such as the colored text, footnotes, and block text.
This article is made to show how Seekers may create bait sites to get others to come to them with their encounters with liminality. They may be telling the truth or lying. However, the Seekers can still gather information. I think the idea is pretty fun!
Any critiques, comments, or complaints are welcome!
I received crit in C4C with both Egg2 and
redgi110
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1042265971932528700/1055258393847271484/Egg_crit1.jpg
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1042265971932528700/1055258394056990821/Egg_crit2.jpg
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1042265971932528700/1055258394400919582/Red_crit.jpg
My first entry for the contest. As with each of my articles, I tried something new or something that I am not good at so that I can improve. In this article's case, I focused on dialogue.
This article is to expand the Seekers group who search all throughout Baseline for ties to limspaces and thresholds. They also interact with other groups such as Visionists frequently.
Any critique, comments, or complaints are welcome!
This article was crit in a C4C with jan Jejasa
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1039245275455303730/1055258250209144862/Junk_crit.jpg
This article has been updated :)
Thanks for your feedback on this page and its sister page, (the now archived) Scouting Report.
Knafflad - Ohmeghon - Nostworks
in discussion Writing / Drafts » Volcanoes, Icicles, and Everything In Between
Another note. Hello, I am dracodiablo99. I am someone who reads way too much during his free time. If you are looking for critique, I will be focusing on SPaG work. I enjoy seeing if there's a better way to make a sentence flow more smoothly (I'm doing it to myself now). I was recently accepted and I have a fun little thing I've been working on for this site. Unfortunately, I am currently unable to use Discord, so I will be asking for draft critique through the forums. As always, thank you for your time.
With regards,
dracodiablo99
My entire life has boiled down to this moment. This keyboard. What I write to you now is my blood, shed for your amusement.
in discussion Writing / Drafts » Volcanoes, Icicles, and Everything In Between
WARNING: This article is really freaking long.
Type: This will be a Limspace.
Concept: It is divided into two separate halves, the Volcanic Forest and the Frozen Desert. In the middle is a Temperate Zone. The idea I wanted to capture here is that you can survive here. There's hope. You just gotta be careful.
Enjoy! Also, I may need a little hepl coming up with a title for this. I was thinking of using Bipolarity as a joke ttitle, but a joke is all it is. What would be a good title for this?
NOTE: All three tabs are part of the same entry. Again. LONG.
Thank you in advance for your time and Happy Holidays!
With regards,
dracodiablo99
My entire life has boiled down to this moment. This keyboard. What I write to you now is my blood, shed for your amusement.
neat space, but doesn't the image originate from this post here? https://mobile.twitter.com/slimyswampghost/status/1138597963977187328
Knaff really knocks it out of the park with these images. I adore every single image used in the crimson system!
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » Versunken Zeitlos Krankenhouse
That sounds very good! I feel like that'd give the space a more mysterious and enigmatic aura. Good luck on the rewrite!
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » Versunken Zeitlos Krankenhouse
That is the common consensus. While I don't have a rework written, I do have the ideas I want to take out.
In Thalasso, there are giant cities that have sunken to the bottom of the oceans and some even further. I think it would be pretty interesting if one of the buildings that sank was a limspace like how Baseline has thresholds. The hospital would have been known to be "cursed" and thus was abandoned. Myths of twisted doctors would be spread around the children to discourage going out at night. Still, the children would go and play by the hospital that loomed over them.
When the cities began to crumble and sink, the hospital stood tall. So, people sought refuge inside. However, that was the hospital's goal all along for it has a mind of its own. The hospital would be a living building that has other organisms such as the twisted surgeons living inside and repairing endlessly. It would sink forever and loop around the many oceans as a wandering trap for the weary and injured crews—-waiting to be snatched into the steel jaws of the hospital.
Welp, that is my current idea for a rewrite. I don't need to do the time stuff because of the mountain "Timeless Descent" I am sure you know about that one! :)
Timeless Descent did the lost-in-time idea much better than mine and I think that I can reallocate my time stuff to other areas such as the entities or its origins.
page revision: 0, last edited: 25 Dec 2020 03:09
