The opening paragraph is the best part but it’s still pretty good
Such is life in the Soviet Union
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Thanks for the crits!
I made the typo and grammar changes.
I also tried to add a hint towards a threat.
not to hot or bright
too hot
its a pleasant level
it's a
grass is constantly a nice cool temperature
constantly at a nice cool temperature
on to the grass field
onto
field, they
field; they
there is little anomalous properties
are little
impossible to settle the only equipment
settle,
Its very fishy, but what I think it needs is a bit more to indicate that not all is right there. As it stands now, there are these camps being deserted, but there is nothing pointing to what is happening, nor is there anything to theorize about who is doing it. Maybe introduce something hinting at (or misdirecting) wanderers in to believing there is some sort of entitiy there or another force. Also, did nobody try and record their experiences there? I find it hard to believe nobody set up an audio recorder or a camera to find out whats making people leave the Level in 24 hours.
First crit for LimArc so forgive me if I am doing this wrong
Overall, there are a lot of SPaG errors here layered over an article that I feel is not entirely up to par. The toxic fumes outside the bunker are kinda interesting but the article does not go anywhere notable with it, and the connections to Level 12 (which so far, is a favorite of mine here) would be great to elaborate on, but again, the article goes nowhere with it. The bunker boys, I feel are kind of generic and uninteresting, just some random crazy gun guys. What entities are there to kill? Were their entitites here previously and they wiped them out? Did these guys go crazy from fighting down there? This article leaves a lot to be desired, and what is present is not very interesting. -1
I feel some similarities (probably unintentional) to SCP-3319 but I think this is good enough to stand out on its own and not be considered a ripoff. Plus I have always had a love for "dimmension connectors" like this. +1
RPC-886 but good
+1
This article knows my username and I don't like it.
Neat!
+1
The basset fraizer index was 3/5. This was incorrect so I changed it to 2.667/5.
REMINDER: To get the correct basset fraizer index, you must add the difficulty, entity count, and chaos gradient and then divide the sum by 3. Any articles that do not follow this rule will be corrected by me.
The basste fraizer index was 4.3/5. This was incorrect so I changed it to 5/5.
REMINDER: To get the correct basset fraizer index, you must add the difficulty, entity count, and chaos gradient and then divide the sum by 3. Any articles that do not follow this rule will be corrected by me.
The basset fraizer index was 4.5/5. This was incorrect so I changed it to 3.334/5.
REMINDER: To get the correct basset fraizer index, you must add the difficulty, entity count, and chaos gradient and then divide the sum by 3. Any articles that do not follow this rule will be corrected by me.
The basset fraizer index was 2/5. This was incorrect so I changed it to 2.334/5.
REMINDER: To get the correct basset fraizer index, you must add the difficulty, entity count, and chaos gradient and then divide the sum by 3. Any articles that do not follow this rule will be corrected by me.
The basset fraizer index was 5/5. this was incorrect so I changed it to 3.667/5.
REMINDER: To get the correct basset fraizer index, you must add the difficulty, entity count, and chaos gradient and then divide the sum by 3. Any articles that do not follow this rule will be corrected by me.
The basset fraizer index was 4.5/5. This was incorrect so I changed it to 1.667/5 as well as updated the basset fraizer index description.
REMINDER: To get the correct basset fraizer index, you must add the difficulty, entity count, and chaos gradient and then divide the sum by 3. Any articles that do not follow this rule will be corrected by me.
The basset fraiser index was 0.1/5. It was in correct so I changer it to 0.667/5
REMINDER: To get the correct basset fraizer index, you must add the difficulty, entity count, and chaos gradient and then divide the sum by 3. Any articles that do not follow this rule will be corrected by me.
:problem:
Thank you very much for the line-by-line Viz!
I have added these fixes into my next draft (save for one!) and I appreciate your attention to detail.
Here:
"I think this should be Vraxus'."
There are different rulings on the apostrophe s on singular nouns but I choose to maintain the 's since I feel it correlates with the majority of references I source, and also since I have been doing so already in my other entries.
Otherwise you are spot on :swag-love:
Cheers for taking the time
Knafflad - Ohmeghon - Nostworks
this is my favorite level so far
page revision: 0, last edited: 25 Dec 2020 03:09
