The Shadows are Gathering

Summary:

Just a quick idea!

The Shadows are Gathering

dracodiablo99 13 Mar 2023 18:04

As I'm writing this, I'm pulling random stuff together just to see how it work.

So, I'm starting with the fact that this is a desert. No plants are around, but entities abound. The air itself is an entity, and as wanderers breathe it in, THINGS crawl beneath their skin like some horror movie. When viewed with a light, the skin is deforming, as if maggots are crawling beneath the skin. It was once a beautiful city, and just before wanderers die, they see a vision of that. It's possible to leave this place, but you must be fast, as the air is toxic. The entities here are stronger than they usually are, because the air strengthens them. One out of every 1,000 wanderers will survive the air, and once that happens, they gain the ability to control shadows. Any kind of shadow, anything they want to do, they do. It takes imagination and practice. Once they gain control, the entities avoid the Shades (the ones who can control shadow) out of fear, and they can see clearly, as if it was day.


Aside from that, I got nothing. I'd love some ideas from the rest of you!

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My entire life has boiled down to this moment. This keyboard. What I write to you now is my blood, shed for your amusement.

Re: The Shadows are Gathering

Nautilus98 25 Mar 2023 20:17

Greetings,

Deserts do have plants like cacti and other hardy flora. Your idea seems to be more of a wasteland than a desert. Wastelands do not have plants as the environment is too harsh for even the most resilient flora.
Are you saying that the air is an entity or that the air is full of micro entities? The way you describe the skin makes it seem that the air is full of micro flies that lay eggs under the skin when inside the body.
Your vision idea is a bit weak. Needs more to be good.
How does the air strengthen entities? What entities live here and why?
The shadow stuff is off. Why is it only 1 in a thousand? Who calculated that? Why do they even gain shadow powers? Also, shadows are not physical forms and would be pretty useless to control. You can't give shadows 3D capabilities as shadows are flat caused by light sources being blocked by objects.
What does "And they can see clearly, as if it was day" mean?

This idea is very bare and scattered. If I were to make this(with all of your ideas represented), it would go like this,

+ show block

LIMSPACE is a crumbled city scorched and covered in ash. All around the ruins stretching forever is an empty wasteland of bones and decay. The air here is full of an endless supply of hostile parasitic flies that lay their eggs in their living hosts. The skin bubbles as the eggs hatch out of the skin with extreme pain. Maggots rapidly consume the body and replace the hive in the air. The entities that have survived and flourished in the hostile lands have adapted to the surplus of the hive and utilize them in their bodies as nourishment, energy, and sometimes, weapons.

While most people suffer quick and painful deaths to the hive in the air, an extremely almost insurmountable number have survived and received strange effects. Those few who survived the infestation under the skin see and interact with the world differently. They see shadows as tangible objects that they can weave like thread to their whims. These people are called Shades and seem to radiate an intense aura that causes entities to fear them.

This idea is very scattered and empty. Even with my contributions, the idea is not well. If you go further with this idea, focus on ONE idea and keep with a theme. You have wasteland, maggot air, and shadow magic…

If I was to remove one concept, I would choose the shadow magic stuff. It is the most out of place. Without it, you could have a harsh wasteland full of only the most resilient entities and deadly toxic air. This space would be extremely difficult to traverse without proper equipment but you would need a good reason for people to ever go here. Perhaps it has an entrance to another space or a valuable resource or maybe it used to be an important space.

Re: The Shadows are Gathering

dracodiablo99 29 Mar 2023 18:23

Thank you very much. One of my skillsets is bsing my way through writing. Once I start, the words kinda pour out and my adhd kicks in full force, giving me the ability to write for hours on end (when circumstances permit). I understand the issues you have with the idea, but keep in mind, it's only an idea, not the actual draft.

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My entire life has boiled down to this moment. This keyboard. What I write to you now is my blood, shed for your amusement.

Re: The Shadows are Gathering

Nautilus98 30 Mar 2023 05:18

That is called brainstorming. I can get into modes where I just write nonstop for hours on topics and worlds. However, I don't only do this. I am constantly writing down notes throughout the day for worlds, characters, and stories to write. When I get sent down the rabbit hole of ideas, I climb back out and see the mess I made. Then, I take the idea's good parts that work well together to put into one great idea rather than a decent idea full of nonsense. Those discarded ideas are then used in other places. I just recently reached 2000 articles on my worldbuilding site. Some are good, some bad, but none are mindless sludge.

Jot down everything. Things you write may end up being used somewhere else more fitting!

My ending crit for your idea is to pick one direction. Don't throw all your ideas into one space.

Re: The Shadows are Gathering

dracodiablo99 31 Mar 2023 01:30

Okay, I won't. However, you brought up some great points.

• The air is a bunch of micro parasites.
• I will rework how the space operates, such as making it less lethal, as well as where the space leads.
• I was thinking of creating a few entities for no reason
• I forgot that deserts had plants… .-.
• "and they can see clearly, as if it was day" means that they have phenomenal night vision, and they see perfectly fine.
• Delete shadow magic. Got it.

Thanks a lot!


With regards,
draco99

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My entire life has boiled down to this moment. This keyboard. What I write to you now is my blood, shed for your amusement.

Re: The Shadows are Gathering

dracodiablo99 05 Apr 2023 19:09

You know what? I'm scrapping the idea and coming up with another: a liminal beehive with giant bees

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My entire life has boiled down to this moment. This keyboard. What I write to you now is my blood, shed for your amusement.

Re: The Shadows are Gathering

Nautilus98 07 Apr 2023 01:02

That sounds neat. Thalasso is going to have giant bees in giant nests in the Verdant Sea(A seaspace with giant trees growing out of the ocean). There is also the Honey from the Heavens seaspace that also has bees.

Don't let me discourage you. Write your bees and make at least one bee pun.