I originally wrote this article for the first ever site contest, but decided not to post it after because I wasn't happy with it. After a year and a half of rewriting it, I'm finally happy with it. Better late than never!
Thank you to bettermybutter does not match any existing user name, knafflad,
Bloof,
Egg2,
Almarduk and
The Dark Destroyer for crit.
Images were edited myself using CC image sources.