Cerulean Palace Ruins / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Cerulean Palace Ruins.

Feedback (Late but better now than never, right?)

0ktober 29 May 2021 03:26

And curse the Witch Queens crystal towers

upheaved by the curse of the Witch Queens dying wrath

Witch Queen's*

Vraxus's immortal hatred

I think this should be Vraxus'.

folding the lands upon itself, crumpling the very world into itself.

Since "lands" is plural, I think "itself" should be changed to "themselves" or something.

the Crimson Systems history

System's*

This is an entirely personal issue but the prose is a bit too dense for me to easily parse, so I'm going to no-vote as I didn't follow much of the story. I tend to have trouble with dense prose like this in general so it's definitely a me issue. I can still say it's very well written and I didn't find any other issues with it.

Re: Feedback (Late but better now than never, right?)

knafflad 03 Jun 2021 06:09

Thank you very much for the line-by-line Viz!

I have added these fixes into my next draft (save for one!) and I appreciate your attention to detail.

Here:

"I think this should be Vraxus'."

There are different rulings on the apostrophe s on singular nouns but I choose to maintain the 's since I feel it correlates with the majority of references I source, and also since I have been doing so already in my other entries.

Otherwise you are spot on :swag-love:
Cheers for taking the time

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Knafflad - Ohmeghon - Nostworks