Be respectful on the site and forums.

The posts involve grave political problem with an extremely arrogant tone, and have badly discomforted and offended Chinese members. Hence here is a request on deleting the thread.

The Halls aren't treated as a plural in these two cases.

• There are rooms that are damp and covered in mushrooms and unique flora. These areas add a strange feeling of ecology to the otherwise featureless rooms

Feels like these sentences should be connected by a semicolon instead of a period.

• a fowl, putrid experiment to grow mushrooms in

I assume you meant foul, not fowl.

• The Halls are simply the first of many levels within the Backrooms. It is a vast and branching reality of nested infinities within one another known as levels

I feel like it would make a lot more sense to open up this section by stating that the Backrooms has many levels and then saying that the Halls are simply one of the levels, rather than the other way around.

• They manifest in three common ways: gradients, gateways, and rifts

This gives the exact same information as the list right after the paragraph it's in, which makes it redundant.

• across subtle changes in geography

Shouldn't this be "paralogy" and not "geography"? Like how you use the term "paralogic features" to describe different environments in the Halls.

• In these ways do parallel realities physically collide within the Backrooms System

The "do" doesn't add anything and I kind of don't like how it sounds here, very much a nitpick though.

• Limspace is a large and expansive place | Once you have spliced into Limspace, there is no return to Baseline

I don't like how in these excerpts specifically the Backrooms and the Halls respectively seem to be referred to as "Limspace", since it's not like all limspaces are vast or impossible to return from.

• splicing is an event that befalls everyone in the Backrooms who was not naturally born in them

Shouldn't it be "befell"? Since it happened in the past.

• Firstly: the Frontier is a special limspace in the way it entangles with Baseline | Once you have spliced into Limspace, there is no return to Baseline

Aren't these minor contradictions with the Chaos Gradient section? Since it states that people can splice into the Halls from different limspaces as well.

As for general critique, I'll have to echo 0ktober's point about the images, the blurring is just unnecessary and annoying; the first "image" is also just weird, with the mashup of obviously rendered environments (the second image also suffers from being an obvious render). All of that only serves to make the article feel less believable, if anything.

The biggest flaw with the article is–ironically–not even inherently a fault of the article; the flaw is that it just feels really disconnected from other Backrooms articles, for example with how it outlines the way travel between levels works (which not all other levels abide by with their entrances and exits). The UNCB database format is also something that only this article really does as far as I remember; I don't think terms like "paralogy" are really used outside of this article either. Basically it suffers from the fact that a ton of other Backrooms articles haven't been updated to its standard.

Overall the article is solid though; a good and pretty comprehensive introduction to the limsystem that also throws in some interesting concepts without dragging on for too long.

i thought it might feel too long, but it doesn't, really. It felt about right imo.

Two poem sections back to back next and they're not bad poems, but if I had to pick, I'd probably keep the first and cut the second if I were being a brutal evil editor man.

Alllllso biggest nitpick of all Koælus isnt a very intuitive thing to pronounce for a poor angloid like me so im like… koaylus? Koahlus? And it makes the already kinda flowery poetry a bit more confusing than it maybe needed to be.

I see what you did with the "it was called Koælus… the land before" section you little sneaky sneak. Dont think you can slip a dark souls reference past ME. Dark destroyer, DARK IS LITERALLY IN MY NAME.

Not a bad way to write a page anyway since it IS writing about a character. The witch queen

Small nitpick "where it lie in accordance with other Limspaces" should be changed I would think? Lies? Lays? Idk im not John Grammar.

I do get what you were going for with the page and I'd upvote. Just a few itsy bitsy pet peeves.

+1

Extrauniversal void is a bit eh as far as a descriptor goes, as its not really a void?

Level used for a non backrooms thing but can't fault Doey for that as he might have left Before we changed it idk.

Cheshire manifold idea is cool, conceptually quite fun although it is Not intuitive to think about and visualise.

Mental effects of the limspace felt kinda tacked on. But there's no huge problems with the page. Nowadays I'd probably novote this. Cool ideas and its clearly meant to be written by a more serious sciency guy but idk quite short and doesn't have the human touch I'd like

https://discord.com/channels/792245826117304340/1409723185347428482/1410695311827140709

https://discord.com/channels/792245826117304340/1409723185347428482/1506426539011477589

The routine is spruced up with some clever similes, metaphors, and the like. However, it lacks presence. Surely at this point in the routine, Jennifer could describe the aroma of her coffee each day much better than not at all. What is so great about the aroma that it pushes her to get up? Is it a brief escape from the toiling life through sunny pasture?

It may be intentionally robotic if you are intending on going the route of taking a cog out of a machine and spinning it down a hill. However, you must keep in mind, this is the introduction, the place where you need to hook your readers. Make us care about Jennifer, add intrigue, do something more than just the routine. Even if it is a normal/regular life, there is bound to be something unique about it that readers can latch onto. Every life is unique.

The only real source of conflict immediately apparent is the breakup with Leon, and that is a good chunk of the way through the section. Perhaps find a way to introduce it sooner. Maybe Jennifer wakes up and recognizes the room feels larger or that something has been missing for a while.

The answer lies in the half shitpost nature of this article. It’s just as wonderful as it is ridiculous.

Glad you enjoyed =)

Thank you for writing it.

It's a good page! I hope Orion can find peace :3

+1

-1

+1

-1

-1

+1

-1

+1

-1

+1

-1

Still +1

+/-

-1

Still +1

-1

Uniteresting concept, poor execution.

-1

It’s always so pleasurable to be shown a fleeting glimpse of Thalasso’s gargantuan, sweeping, larger-than-life world. I think you nailed it with plucky crew mates, aspirations of legend and fame and riches, and a fearless captain who has just enough depth to turn the narrative into something more emotional than the typical dead liminal spaces and horrible monsters.

I liked the musical theme as well, it’s not often that music is used as a villainous motif, so that was pretty unique!

Truth be told, it would be excellent to get a part II. Either the brave captain wins or he dies, and either way I think there’s enough worldbuilding and characters to carry that story further. Great work ✌️

More Gardina is always a pleasure, as well. And I love the Spider. +1

Simplepig if you’re seeing this know you have fans.

…the residents librarians are fewer in number…

Remove the 's' after 'resident'

If the request is sufficiently detailed, the librarian will exit through the nearest doorway and disappear…

You introduce librarians completely out of the blue. Replace 'the librarian' with 'a librarian'. Librarian doesn't look like a word anymore.

No safety measures present here to avoid trapping people.

You're missing the word 'are' here.

And some overall issues:

- Why are the pictures such low quality? The first photo is supposed to represent a building complex similar to the entrance. It shouldn't be so blurry.

- How do we know literally any of this information if we forget everything when we leave? The only things that people can remember are pieces of media unique to the Library, which ironically are barely mentioned at all.

This article has a lot of potential, but it feels like a lot of the creepiness is wasted. You have a feral population of cannibalistic humans stalking through bookcases while faceless humanoids make sure you're on your best behaviour. So why is there barely any horror in this article? Also, the last issue I highlighted is too glaring to ignore. A very sad -1.