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		<title>Archived Drafts (new posts)</title>
		<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/c-7075052/archived-drafts</link>
		<description>Posts in the forum category &quot;Archived Drafts&quot; - Drafts that have been posted or abandoned.</description>
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		<lastBuildDate>Tue, 15 Sep 2026 06:29:56 +0000</lastBuildDate>
		
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15305160#post-5645918</guid>
				<title>Hello! I&#039;d like some criticism on this sandbox i&#039;ve made!: Hello! I&#039;d like some criticism on this sandbox i&#039;ve made!</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15305160/hello-i-d-like-some-criticism-on-this-sandbox-i-ve-made#post-5645918</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Sun, 16 Oct 2022 09:22:30 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>basement12345</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>8257655</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p>I've already had some critique on the discord server, but I will still post it here!<br /> Any way I can improve the limspace?<br /> <a href="http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/basement12345-sandbox">http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/basement12345-sandbox</a></p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15086130#post-5548449</guid>
				<title>Lost Places Entry: Re: Lost Places Entry</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15086130/lost-places-entry#post-5548449</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Sun, 28 Aug 2022 00:48:37 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>0ktober</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>3118961</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p>I like the idea of this being intertwined with The Halls, but it doesn't make much sense to me. It seems like a very strange transition to go from office hallways to a dungeon made of stone. Maybe it would make a bit more sense if it was intertwined with a different level? Maybe the cramped caves.</p> <p>This article is strong in a lot of ways, but I feel like ultimately it is weak in terms of evoking the feeling of the setting, which in my opinion is the most important aspect to liminal space writing. I want to know what it <em>feels</em> like to explore the dungeons, and I want to know the interesting details about what the setting is like. I think the article spends too much time talking about extraneous information, and not enough time on setting the scene and developing on the core concept in an interesting way.</p> <div class="collapsible-block"> <div class="collapsible-block-folded"><a class="collapsible-block-link" href="javascript:;">+&nbsp;Crit</a></div> <div class="collapsible-block-unfolded" style="display:none"> <div class="collapsible-block-unfolded-link"><a class="collapsible-block-link" href="javascript:;">–&nbsp;hide&nbsp;block</a></div> <div class="collapsible-block-content"> <blockquote> <p>Reports mention witnessing entire sections that had collapsed return to their original position, only to be shattered again in an instant.</p> </blockquote> <p>This is a very cool line.</p> <blockquote> <p>Foreing contamination</p> </blockquote> <p>Did you mean &quot;Foreign&quot;?</p> <blockquote> <p>These objects usually have unique properties and have only been found in this level.</p> </blockquote> <p>I don't think it makes sense to say they are only on this level, since the Voices of the Dead were written beforehand and presumably aren't specific to this level.</p> <blockquote> <p>Returning only static in the case of communication devices and inconsistent signage in the case of gadgets built for the purpose of facilitating navigation through the Backrooms.</p> </blockquote> <p>I think this is an incomplete sentence. Shouldn't be separate from the previous sentence. Also, put a comma after &quot;devices&quot;.</p> <blockquote> <p>more and more scarce over the time</p> </blockquote> <p>over time*</p> <blockquote> <p>The last attempts to form a bastion against the siege of the unknown.</p> </blockquote> <p>Also an incomplete sentence that shouldn't be separate from the previous.</p> </div> </div> </div> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15085952#post-5535155</guid>
				<title>Spheres: Re: Spheres</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15085952/spheres#post-5535155</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Sun, 14 Aug 2022 17:39:14 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>ham_fm</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>7307938</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p>I would move the contextualizing infobox to the end, it's a more interesting start if we go with <em>The world is composed of an indefinite number of hollow spheres of glass</em> rather than <em>On 07/23/2001, Archivists Ryka and Gautam Baral identified a shared signature between a series of files in the dataspace.</em> You don't need to have that context up front, it works better as a de-briefing than a briefing. You would only need to change some of the tensing in the box when you move it to make that work without substantial content changes.</p> <p>Section 4 of On The World being so long is incongruous with the rest, I would space it out a little more because we go from these short blocks of text to really long and dense paragraphs which I think would flow better as more frequent smaller paragraphs.</p> <p>The same goes on each section of the Four Notable Planets, breaking up those big dense paragraphs into some smaller sections would make this flow better.</p> <p>I think all the prose is really great and engrossing and honestly ameliorates a lot of the pacing issues caused by the big text blocks but I think that they would be more effective if they were working in sync rather than the strong writing having to overcome the text placement being a bit awkward.</p> <p><em>I know a great number of words.</em> is a fan-tastic line.</p> <p>Overall, this is terrific, I think if you ironed out the flow a little more in the ways which I described it would be even better. You are truly developing rapidly as a writer and every time I read a new one of your works I feel blown away again!</p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15086130#post-5534989</guid>
				<title>Lost Places Entry: Re: Lost Places Entry CRIT</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15086130/lost-places-entry#post-5534989</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Sun, 14 Aug 2022 13:55:19 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>VivamusLudio</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>3282732</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p>Yes, you got it right! The level is about the last remnants of a previous version of The Halls, and how they end up being consumed by the passage of time. About the &quot;foreign contamination&quot; part, those were the words I wanted to use, since I was referring to the contamination of an external entity, The Halls. Otherwise, I have already applied the rest of your critique, thank you very much!</p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15087078#post-5534552</guid>
				<title>Valley of the Choir: Valley of the Choir</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15087078/valley-of-the-choir#post-5534552</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Sun, 14 Aug 2022 03:54:34 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>Nautilus98</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>6131353</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p>Been a while since I posted a draft here but I found out that there are people who are only on the site and not on Discord. I will do C4C(crit for crit).</p> <p>Here is the draft for the lost con.<br /> <a href="http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/nautilus98">http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/nautilus98</a><br /> It is somewhat unique in that it exists differently than other limspaces or really anything that we can understand. It does not exist physically but rather is entirely composed of sound. Everything has unison and is note based.</p> <p>Any crit would be appreciated greatly!</p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15086130#post-5534352</guid>
				<title>Lost Places Entry: Re: Lost Places Entry CRIT</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15086130/lost-places-entry#post-5534352</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Sat, 13 Aug 2022 23:14:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>Nautilus98</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>6131353</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p>Greetings!<br /> Crit in collapsible!</p> <div class="collapsible-block"> <div class="collapsible-block-folded"><a class="collapsible-block-link" href="javascript:;">+&nbsp;show&nbsp;block</a></div> <div class="collapsible-block-unfolded" style="display:none"> <div class="collapsible-block-unfolded-link"><a class="collapsible-block-link" href="javascript:;">–&nbsp;hide&nbsp;block</a></div> <div class="collapsible-block-content"> <blockquote> <p>Tightly intertwined with The Halls are the Crumbling Dungeons, a labyrinthine complex reminiscent of a medieval castle's undercroft. The level presents a high level of decay. Cracks and debris are a common sight, with entire areas on the verge of collapse, waiting for the slightest touch to succumb. Every few rooms, torches can be found hanging on the walls, but they have long since been extinguished, leaving the level in complete darkness.</p> </blockquote> <p>You have hooked me already! I have waited for quite some time for this kind of limspace and from this paragraph alone, I can tell it will be great! Though I don’t think we use “levels” anymore. It could work but might need to be replaced with something like “space” or “limspace”.</p> <blockquote> <p>The physical structure of the level is not the only element in decay, as the Crumbling Dungeons have a significantly reduced dimensional stability. Throughout the level, one can observe areas where the very fabric that constitutes the Backrooms is weakened. Reports mention witnessing entire sections that had collapsed return to their original position, only to be shattered again in an instant. This erratic behavior is what provides most of the level's danger, as one can suddenly find themselves trapped inside a newly regenerated room, hit by a fragment of a wall that was shattered for no apparent reason, or, in the case of the unluckiest, buried inside a wall that reappeared without warning.</p> </blockquote> <p>Great so far. The last sentence is a bit long but conveys its point.</p> <blockquote> <p>Foreing contamination<br /> In certain places, the characteristic wallpaper of The Halls can be seen intersecting with the ancient brick walls of the Crumbling Dungeons. These sections of wallpaper can be seen &quot;growing&quot;, consuming the Crumbling Dungeons' walls and transforming them into what appears to be a new segment of the The Halls. This &quot;growth&quot; is, like the vast majority of the level's properties, unpredictable, which means that a recently transformed area may take years to advance a few more meters or cover dozens of chambers in seconds.</p> </blockquote> <p>“Foreing containment” may be a misspelling of “foreign containment”<br /> “the The Halls” is a typo? It would work better just as “The Halls”<br /> I love the wallpaper growing like fungus or moss. Crazy visuals!</p> <blockquote> <p>Obscure frontiers<br /> The further you move away from the entry points of the level, the more prevalent its &quot;moribund&quot; state becomes. If you go deep enough into its ruinous corridors, you may encounter the so-called &quot;limit&quot; of the Crumbling Dungeons. This is an area where the structural sequence of the Crumbling Dungeons is completely cut off, giving way to what appears to be an infinitely stretching void. This void seems to completely surround the level, as it can sometimes be observed in other areas of the Crumbling Dungeons.</p> </blockquote> <p>Why is “moribund” in quotes? That is exactly how the space is. Places can have traits like living creatures.<br /> This void sounds interesting. Develop it later.</p> <blockquote> <p>Some have claimed to have caught glimpses of the room clusters that conform various other levels suspended in the distance of this same void. The veracity or significance of these claims has yet to be determined. The fate of those who fall into this void can only be speculated, which gave free rein to all kinds of stories and legends. From endless falls to the most gruesome deaths and tortures. What is certain is that no one who has fallen through one of these rifts has ever returned to tell their story.</p> </blockquote> <p>“Conform various” to “conform to various” or “come from various”?<br /> A while ago, I had written a void aspect of a level and I fumbled it. Your void description is phenomenal! I love stories and legends.</p> <blockquote> <p>Distinctive relics<br /> Remains of extremely deteriorated objects, to the point of being unrecognizable, can be found on a regular basis. Occasionally, the circumstances in which the objects were abandoned has allowed their partial preservation, which has facilitated the recovery of a number of items from within the Crumbling Dungeons over time. These objects usually have unique properties, and have only been found in this level.</p> </blockquote> <p>“Has” to “have”<br /> Remove comma after “properties”?</p> <blockquote> <p>A small barrel full of a liquid with a slight scent of almonds.</p> </blockquote> <p>We removed all mentions of almond water last week. Could either replace it or have some other mystery.</p> <blockquote> <p>A Voice of the Dead with a crack at the top of the skull. No matter how long it was held, the Warning skull emitted only unintelligible mumbles.</p> </blockquote> <p>Yay A Voice of the Dead! I wrote them. Anyways, interesting storytelling with it. That is their purpose after all! Something so dangerous/ unknown that the voice can’t clearly explain the threat.</p> <blockquote> <p>A small sealed wooden box. No one has been able to open it or damage it in the slightest. Each person who holds it perceives something different within it through the box's weight, smell and the sound it makes when shaken.</p> </blockquote> <p>Add a comma after “smell”<br /> Interesting object… the mystery writes itself here.</p> <blockquote> <p>Three vials that appeared to contain diluted Amartía fruit juice. Upon closer inspection, however, it was discovered that unlike its usual color, this juice had a milky white coloration. Individuals who agreed to drink the liquid, in exchange for a hefty reward, described experiencing a thirst that could not be quenched in any way. This effect lasted for about a week.</p> </blockquote> <p>Add comma before “unlike”<br /> Interesting.</p> <blockquote> <p>A bunch of half-carved red colored beetle-shaped figurines.</p> </blockquote> <p>“Red colored” to “red-colored”<br /> Is “a bunch” the best word choice for this?</p> <blockquote> <p>A note, written in Old Castilian, that roughly translates to: &quot;If you're not careful and [TEXT DAMAGED] wrong areas, you'll end up in the Endless, where it's nothing but the stench of stagnant water, the madness of [TEXT DAMAGED], and the continuous background noise of burning torches, and [TEXT DAMAGED] of haphazardly segmented empty chambers to be trapped in. God save you if you hear something wandering around nearby, because it sure as hell has heard you…&quot;. The rest of the text is illegible.</p> </blockquote> <p>Remove comma after “nearby”<br /> Now, this is cool. I think I get the concept now. This place is like a medieval version of The Halls. It even mirrors the original text post. At least I think that’s what this is supposed to be!</p> <blockquote> <p>All methods of communication and navigation do not work properly within the reaches of the Crumbling Dungeons. Returning only static in the case of communication devices and inconsistent signage in the case of gadgets built for the purpose of facilitating navigation through the Backrooms. On top of that, reports of encountering the level have become more and more scarce over the time, which has made studying its properties and characteristics increasingly difficult. Most scholars believe that this is due to The Halls somehow integrating the Crumbling Dungeons into itself, and that in the near future there will no longer be a level to document.</p> </blockquote> <p>This is great. I could feel myself slowly fading out of existence just as the dungeon.</p> <blockquote> <p>Although there is no active community on the level at present, the remnants of multiple settlements may be encountered infrequently. These are more akin to barracks than to spaces created with the primary purpose of serving as living spaces. The last attempts to form a bastion against the siege of the unknown. Occasionally, rusted and deteriorated remains left by those who inhabited these barracks can be found. These are the only proofs that these spaces were inhabited. If you are lucky, the objects may be intact enough to be useful. Artifacts that have been recovered from these habitations range from broken spears and rusted swords to pieces of armor and leather clothing. Surprisingly, the remains of those who inhabited the chambers have never been encountered. Their bones lost forever.</p> </blockquote> <p>“Their bones lost” to “their bones are lost”?<br /> This is pretty cool and introduces some background information that we will not get to understand any better. We are stuck with what is lost and that is it.</p> <blockquote> <p>Even though most of the entrances to the Crumbling Dungeons are found in The Halls, its erratic nature appears to allow entry from other nearby levels. Entrances to the Crumbling Dungeons take the form of tunnels carved in a reddish stone similar to that constituting the bricks of the level. Occasionally, these tunnels will not be easily noticeable, and it will be necessary to break through walls that are visibly deteriorated in order to access them.</p> </blockquote> <p>I see nothing wrong here!</p> <blockquote> <p>As of 2047, it has been 50 years since the last sighting of an entrance to the Crumbling Dungeons, and 53 years since the last reported successful expedition. These last expeditions experienced a level of precariousness that bordered on the safety limits established for an exploration with minimum safety levels. Over the years, the state of chaos in the level only increased and the distances from its entry points and its &quot;limit&quot; decreased. According to estimates based on the statistical models made by the Scholars, the level known as the Crumbling Dungeons relinquished its last portion of terrain about 23 years ago. Accordingly, the Archivists' Council has unanimously decided to declare it defunct.</p> </blockquote> <p>The sense of timelessness here is amazing. Great way to close as if it were a story!</p> </div> </div> </div> <p>Crazy good and original. Haven't read any other entries yet besides my own but I can say this one should win!</p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15086130#post-5533333</guid>
				<title>Lost Places Entry: Lost Places Entry</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15086130/lost-places-entry#post-5533333</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Sat, 13 Aug 2022 03:22:27 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>VivamusLudio</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>3282732</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p><a href="http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/vivamusludio">http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/vivamusludio</a></p> <p>Looking for feedback!</p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15085952#post-5533013</guid>
				<title>Spheres: Spheres</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-15085952/spheres#post-5533013</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Fri, 12 Aug 2022 16:31:06 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>Worm that Walks</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>6481401</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p>[draft <a href="http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/wormdraft">http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/wormdraft</a>]</p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14687617#post-5338697</guid>
				<title>Saul Goodman: Re: Saul Goodman</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14687617/saul-goodman#post-5338697</link>
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				<pubDate>Mon, 30 May 2022 21:48:50 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>Dil_Pickle</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>8054098</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p>yes</p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14698710#post-5311531</guid>
				<title>LA Horror contest draft: Re: LA Horror contest draft</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14698710/la-horror-contest-draft#post-5311531</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Fri, 13 May 2022 02:28:22 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>ieatcrepes</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>5181020</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <div class="collapsible-block"> <div class="collapsible-block-folded"><a class="collapsible-block-link" href="javascript:;">+&nbsp;show&nbsp;block</a></div> <div class="collapsible-block-unfolded" style="display:none"> <div class="collapsible-block-unfolded-link"><a class="collapsible-block-link" href="javascript:;">–&nbsp;hide&nbsp;block</a></div> <div class="collapsible-block-content"> <p>In the entity classification table, the dark blue is very hard to make out. Consider changing &quot;Depending&quot; to &quot;Depends&quot;.<br /> <br /></p> <blockquote> <p>presumably candle wax.</p> </blockquote> <p>I know this is assumed, but it might be better to make the prepositional phrase &quot;made of&quot; explicit here.<br /> <br /> <br /> Behaviors section has some great ideas, will be finished imo with punctuation and syntax.<br /> <br /></p> <blockquote> <p>Makes little shrines in the spaces it occupies of things watching things, not related to who it is watching just all about eyes and watching</p> </blockquote> <p>It's a little hard to make out what this is saying in its current state.<br /> <br /> <br /> I like the personal testimony in italics at the end of the Behaviors section.<br /> <br /></p> <blockquote> <p>There's only ever been one case of someone dying that was dead-to-rights dealing with being watched.</p> </blockquote> <p>I feel that this sentence is a bit clunky and I'm not sure what is meant by the hyphenated phrase's placement. Maybe include the word &quot;indirectly&quot; somewheres in there.<br /> <br /></p> <blockquote> <p>Psychologically, surviving can come down to being able to acknowledge reality. You're not just being paranoid. Someone, or in this case something, is watching you right now.</p> </blockquote> <p>This is fucked up in a great way.<br /> <br /></p> <blockquote> <p>Luddite</p> </blockquote> <p>Great word use. May want to footnote that for some, just a thought.<br /> <br /></p> <blockquote> <p>peeping tom</p> </blockquote> <p>Should this be capitalized?<br /> <br /> <br /> The sentence the above two are included in runs on a bit.<br /> <br /></p> <blockquote> <p>to end up suffering from defenestration</p> </blockquote> <p>This is worded awkwardly; one is likely to be defenestrated. The way it stands makes it seem like a medical ailment lol.</p> </div> </div> </div> <p>This hits creepy in all the right places. Will think of this next time I lose my phone, which is always; same as everybody. Great, spooky, and inspiring piece!</p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14690945#post-5311511</guid>
				<title>Horror Con entry: Re: Horror Con entry</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14690945/horror-con-entry#post-5311511</link>
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				<pubDate>Fri, 13 May 2022 02:18:23 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>ieatcrepes</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>5181020</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p>Thanks, I fixed these issues!</p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14698710#post-5311337</guid>
				<title>LA Horror contest draft: LA Horror contest draft</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14698710/la-horror-contest-draft#post-5311337</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Thu, 12 May 2022 20:30:10 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>ham_fm</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>7307938</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p>Still a skeleton but it will be fleshed out</p> <p><a href="http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/pixelatedharmony">http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/pixelatedharmony</a></p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14690945#post-5311299</guid>
				<title>Horror Con entry: Re: Horror Con entry</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14690945/horror-con-entry#post-5311299</link>
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				<pubDate>Thu, 12 May 2022 19:00:58 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>ham_fm</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>7307938</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p>The &quot;Communities&quot; section has a bit that says Rural Backrooms where the phrase isn't used elsewhere, was that on purpose?</p> <p>The first sentences of the two paragraphs of the description start off the same way and I think you're better than that.</p> <blockquote> <p>Teeth marks (human)</p> </blockquote> <p>Creepy! Super creepy! Don't like that (but in a good way).</p> <blockquote> <p>Buildings in the Rural Backroads are often unlocked.</p> </blockquote> <p>I feel like this sentence works better at the end of that section and not at the beginning.</p> <p>I like the eyewitness testimony but I feel it would be stronger if we had more context as to who this person is and who they're talking to.</p> <p>Overall, fucking creepy!</p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14600115#post-5309371</guid>
				<title>My First Space!: Re: My First Space!</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14600115/my-first-space#post-5309371</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Wed, 11 May 2022 00:09:44 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>ieatcrepes</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>5181020</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <div class="collapsible-block"> <div class="collapsible-block-folded"><a class="collapsible-block-link" href="javascript:;">+&nbsp;show&nbsp;block</a></div> <div class="collapsible-block-unfolded" style="display:none"> <div class="collapsible-block-unfolded-link"><a class="collapsible-block-link" href="javascript:;">–&nbsp;hide&nbsp;block</a></div> <div class="collapsible-block-content"> <p>1.</p> <blockquote> <p>Level 41, aka Grandma's House, is a relatively-small liminal space, only consisting of small rooms and corridors from the 1980s.</p> </blockquote> <p>I'd remove the word &quot;only&quot;, will have better flow.<br /> <br /> <br /> 2.</p> <blockquote> <p>Most of the time, it's</p> </blockquote> <p>Correct &quot;it's&quot; to &quot;its&quot;. Check the article for every &quot;it's&quot;, there are a few of these.<br /> <br /> <br /> 3.</p> <blockquote> <p>and wetness all-throughout the level.</p> </blockquote> <p>Just &quot;throughout&quot; will work better here.<br /> <br /></p> <p>4.</p> <blockquote> <p>Every step you make in the house must be light, as the floorboards are extremely creaky!</p> </blockquote> <p>I don't know if making this an exclamation is a good move, I think it would read better with just a period.<br /> <br /> <br /> 5.</p> <blockquote> <p>window will ALWAYS be locked, and Grandma will come stop you. She has senses like a bat, or a hound…</p> </blockquote> <p>Consider removing the all caps from &quot;always&quot;, for the same reason stated above. I think the last phrase would do better if you just selected one; either the bad or the hound. I'd select the hound, given that hounds return in this story a little later, just for thematic consistency.<br /> <br /></p> <blockquote> <p>sources of Voltaic Urchins in almost very crevasse of Level 41.</p> </blockquote> <p>That &quot;very&quot; seems like it should be &quot;every&quot;<br /> <br /></p> <blockquote> <p>This room is NOT safe, so use at your own risk. Even though Grandma has never been spotted in this room, Grandma knows the in's and out's of her home!</p> </blockquote> <p>This line repeats the information given a few sentences before, that Grandma has never been spotted in this room. I think I'd go back and remove the first sentence mentioning this, so that this sentence plays fresh.<br /> <br /></p> <blockquote> <p>it's unknown why as this room has the same moldy and wet feeling as the others.</p> </blockquote> <p>I think conceptually, this is a bad decision. It is not uncommon for whole houses to be infected with invasive types of mold when they feature them, so it doesn't make sense why they would be unsure as to why several rooms had this feature.<br /> <br /></p> <blockquote> <p>Grandma's domain. The room resembles an elderly-woman's room from the 1990s,</p> </blockquote> <p>Since we already get the idea that Grandma is an elderly woman, I would remove that part of this sentence, and just say that it features furniture circa the 1990s, and so on.<br /> <br /></p> <blockquote> <p>Nothing notable has been found in Grandma's room, except the only known exit to this level.</p> </blockquote> <p>This reads strangely, consider changing it to something like &quot;Besides the exit, there is nothing of value or note in this room.&quot;<br /> <br /></p> <blockquote> <p>The UNCB has tried multiple times to setup a basecamp on Level 41,</p> </blockquote> <p>Should be &quot;set up&quot;<br /> <br /></p> </div> </div> </div> <p>On the whole, this is a pretty creepy space to imagine yourself in. I have some issues with the pictures; while ones like Grandma's room capture the vibe very well, it looks as though it is daylight outside. This gives a bit of an issue, as the article says it is always night. Maybe consider removing that part about it always being night; I think the pictures are worth keeping and it in some ways might be creepier to have day cycles here.</p> <p>Looking forward to the next version!</p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14687606#post-5309359</guid>
				<title>BMR Radio: Re: BMR Radio</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14687606/bmr-radio#post-5309359</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Tue, 10 May 2022 23:54:40 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>ieatcrepes</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>5181020</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p>Edit: WikiDot bug</p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14687606#post-5309358</guid>
				<title>BMR Radio: Re: BMR Radio</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14687606/bmr-radio#post-5309358</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Tue, 10 May 2022 23:54:30 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>ieatcrepes</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>5181020</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <div class="collapsible-block"> <div class="collapsible-block-folded"><a class="collapsible-block-link" href="javascript:;">+&nbsp;show&nbsp;block</a></div> <div class="collapsible-block-unfolded" style="display:none"> <div class="collapsible-block-unfolded-link"><a class="collapsible-block-link" href="javascript:;">–&nbsp;hide&nbsp;block</a></div> <div class="collapsible-block-content"> <p>1.</p> <blockquote> <p>The BMR Radio allows individuals to communicate between levels, with a few exceptions including enigmatic levels, there is currently 3 made of them, all in an unknown location.</p> </blockquote> <p>Split this sentence up; period after &quot;enigmatic levels&quot; and start a new sentence.<br /> <br /> <br /> 2.</p> <blockquote> <p>The BMR looks like a big box made out of steel and wood, with 2&#160;30&#160;cm long antennas standing on top, the question is if the antennas are actually useful or are just serving an aesthetic purpose is unknown.</p> </blockquote> <p>Consider removing the word &quot;big&quot;. Change the number &quot;2&quot; into &quot;two&quot;; the two number together look confusing. I'd replace &quot;antennas&quot; with &quot;antennae&quot; and remove the phrase &quot;standing on top&quot;, it is understood that the antennae are on top. This is a run-on also, split the sentence into two; start a new sentence at the line &quot;The question is&quot;, and remove the phrase &quot;is unknown&quot;.<br /> <br /> <br /> 3.</p> <blockquote> <p>The BMR Radios were manufactured in the Frontrooms but were Blueprinted in the Backrooms, out of the 3 BMR Radios functioning 2 are owned by the UNCB and 1 is owned by the Porters that was sent to the Porters to aid relationships between the UNCB and the Porters.</p> </blockquote> <p>Another run-on sentence. Put a period after &quot;in the Backrooms&quot; and start a new sentence. Again consider replacing &quot;2&quot; and &quot;1&quot; with &quot;two&quot; and &quot;one&quot;. You use &quot;the Porters&quot; three times in quick succession, so replace the second time with &quot;them&quot;, and end this sentence after &quot;between the UNCB.&quot; Also, replace &quot;between&quot; there with &quot;with&quot;.<br /> <br /></p> <p>4. That's all for the SPaG. Conceptually, I think this needs something else added to it. So far, it is a novel tool that could be put to very good use in the Backrooms, but none of that is shown or explored. The two testing phrases are relatively uneventful, and are more of gestures towards something happening than anything actually happening.</p> <p>5. My recommendation would be to put this radio system to use in your favorite Levels and come up with a way to make them more interesting than a relatively straightforward radio.</p> </div> </div> </div> <p>Looking forward to the next draft!</p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14690945#post-5307265</guid>
				<title>Horror Con entry: Horror Con entry</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14690945/horror-con-entry#post-5307265</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Mon, 09 May 2022 02:35:19 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>ieatcrepes</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>5181020</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p><a href="http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/crepe-cake">http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/crepe-cake</a></p> <p>I appreciate it.</p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14687617#post-5305580</guid>
				<title>Saul Goodman: Saul Goodman</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14687617/saul-goodman#post-5305580</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Sat, 07 May 2022 09:16:26 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>Dr_Fast46</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>7725532</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p><a href="http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/dr-fast46-3">http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/dr-fast46-3</a></p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14687606#post-5305570</guid>
				<title>BMR Radio: BMR Radio</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14687606/bmr-radio#post-5305570</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Sat, 07 May 2022 09:07:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>Dr_Fast46</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>7725532</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p><a href="http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/dr-fast46-2">click here to view page</a></p> 
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				<guid>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14604364#post-5256219</guid>
				<title>oh my god guys 1kd made a liminal archives article: oh my god guys 1kd made a liminal archives article</title>
				<link>http://liminal-archives.wikidot.com/forum/t-14604364/oh-my-god-guys-1kd-made-a-liminal-archives-article#post-5256219</link>
				<description></description>
				<pubDate>Sat, 09 Apr 2022 02:40:59 +0000</pubDate>
				<wikidot:authorName>1000dumplings</wikidot:authorName>				<wikidot:authorUserId>2864629</wikidot:authorUserId>				<content:encoded>
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						 <p>i havent written backrooms stuff for a while tbh, so im a bit rusty ehh</p> <p>anyway this is what i've got, dont hold back</p> <p><a href="http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/1000dumplings">http://liminal-sandbox.wikidot.com/1000dumplings</a></p> 
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