Object 88

Free Pizza

rating: -1+x

Photo of Object 88


The following is a collection of documents surrounding the use of Object 88, or Free Pizza. Edits to the original draft have been combined to together to form a cohesive document, despite the exploration of Level 1 and the events at Outpost Kochini being documented by different archivists. Should any wanderer or archivist find an object that matches the description of Object 88, they are instructed to slowly walk away while maintaining visual contact with the object. Once to a safe place, report the instance.

Documents are presented in the order of their creation.


Object 88, colloquially known as Free Pizza is a pizza box found within Level 1 containing a theoretically limitless amount of cheese pizza. Each pizza contains 8 to 11 square cut slices, and upon consuming a slice, subjects report feeling 'content.' If the entire pizza is removed, and the box is closed and reopened, another 8 to 11 slices will appear in their place. There appear to be no negative side effects to consuming a slice of pizza produced by Free Pizza. Free Pizza possesses no other anomalous properties. Various instances of this object have been found all throughout Level 1.

Free-Pizza has a 15 inch diameter and weighs approximately one pound. The pizza within has been described as ‘Pleasantly chewy.’ Pizza retrieved from Free Pizza remains hot for approximately 30 minutes and exhibits no unusual properties.

All instances of Free Pizza have been uniform size, and weight, and produce identical cheese pizza. Attempts have not been made to bring any instance of Free Pizza to other Levels.


Free Pizza’s ability to produce free and limitless amounts of sustenance at minimal weight makes it optimal for use in field missions, as well as providing food for settlements in inhospitable environments. Use cases for Free Pizza seem limitless.

First experimentation for Free Pizza’s use in exploration will be conducted approximately 24 hours after the publishing of this article to the archive. A team consisting of 1 archivist and 6 wanderers will be dispatched to Level 1 and attempt to secure more instances of Free Pizza for study. Results will be posted once available.

Moreover, Free Pizza has been made available for anyone inhabiting Outpost Kochni on Level 1. Morale has been greatly improved. Discussions for providing all outposts with Free Pizza have begun, awaiting the results of long term use.


The first instance of Free Pizza was discovered recently by wanderers on Level 1. It is unknown as to why instances of Free Pizza had not appeared before. It may be pertinent to note that the discovering party had been severely malnourished before finding it, however more instances have been found by parties without this characteristic. Rooms containing Free Pizza are typically covered with writing reading ‘FREE PIZZA’ or ‘FREE FOOD.’ The source of this writing is unknown.

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